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Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project 2025, or anything like it. That's what he told me during a recent lunch date at Jersey Mike's. That's not a...
Arts & Entertainment

Once I Learned to Read, I Realized The Left Actually Can and Does Meme

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump White House official Dustin Pewpsin. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not necessarily this outlet, its ownership, or staff. "It baffled me. Truly. I learn to read, and more importantly...

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U.S. Politics

Ashley’s Diary, Hunter’s Laptop, Obama’s Birth Certificate, and the Bible: All the Facts I Need

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump 2024 surrogate Dustin Pewpsin....
U.S. Politics

Betrayal? RFK’s Brain Worms Just Endorsed Donald Trump

"Much like how an Evangelical Christian can read the Bible and not know anything...
U.S. Politics

If I Don’t Have a Biden Flag, Biden Shoes, or Biden Bible, Am I Really Voting for Biden?

PROF. McTERRY: And who won the election? JAMES: Well, I don't fuck my cousin, so I know...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
U.S. Politics

I Asked This Grand Wizard Why He’s Voting for Donald Trump and Not the Democrat

Ask any evangelical, Christian conservative and they'll tell you without batting a single eyelash...
MAGA News

Jesus Just Told Me He Probably Wouldn’t Vote for the “Rapey Sore Loser Guy”

Well, America, you're about to do it. Again. We're gonna have a re-do of 2020....
U.S. Politics

I’m a Single Issue Voter, and It’s Enabling Right-Wing Authoritarians If I Don’t Get My Way

The following piece was submitted to us by reader Gary Neophite, who describes himself...
U.S. Politics

If I Can’t Vote for a Monarch With Immunity, I Don’t Have Freedom, Do I?

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and author Dustin Pewpsin. The views...
U.S. Politics

I Finally Saw Hunter Biden’s Dick. The Bad News for Republicans? It Didn’t Make Me a Fascist.

Midge was so intent on making sure that every American saw Hunter's cock that...
U.S. Politics

Our Whole Office Chipped-In and Got Ron DeSantis a Disney World Annual Pass to Cheer Him Up

When he rides "Pirates of the Caribbean," he may be off-put by seeing men...
U.S. Politics

Naming Marjorie Taylor Greene His VP Would Double the IQ of Trump’s Ticket to 46

Former President Donald Trump really wants to make an attempt at a third popular...
U.S. Politics

Cruz Withholding 2024 Endorsement Until He Hears Every Candidate’s Stance on His Ugly Wife

Though the next presidential election is still over a year away, the machinations involved...
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Latest articles

Religion

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity...
Arts & Entertainment

Once I Learned to Read, I Realized The Left Actually Can and Does Meme

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump White House official Dustin...
Lifestyle

God Told Me Oklahoma Kids Will Be ‘Stupid as Fuck’ After the Bible is Taught in Schools

"...do they really think it covers me in glory to have a bunch of...
U.S. Politics

Someone Accidentally Sent Me a Copy of The Biden/Trump Debate Questions

Don't ask me how it happened, but it would appear that someone at CNN...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)