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Food and Dining

Betrayal? RFK’s Brain Worms Just Endorsed Donald Trump

"Much like how an Evangelical Christian can read the Bible and not know anything about Christianity, we eat brains, but get no intellectual benefit from them." You know, they say that "politics makes for strange bedfellows," and in the case of Matt Gaetz, it also...

Every Former President Ranked from Least to Most Felony Convictions

Our regular readers will likely recall that part of our mission statement here -- outside of providing the Internet's premiere destination for burrito recipes of course -- is a commitment to bringing a "historical perspective" on current events. Recently, a former president was convicted on...

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Former President Trump Prefers His Classified Documents Well Done and Drenched in Ketchup

As the time goes on from when they leave office, much can be --...

Brave, Maskless Patriot Would Rather Be Arrested Than Leave McDonald’s Without His McNuggets

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- At the time of publication, right-wing podcaster and self-described...

Golden Corral Taps Tucker Carlson to Promote “Patriot Binge and Purge” Loyalty Program

This week, Fox News will begin airing a docuseries produced by noted white nationalist...

Pro-Life Baker Devastated When Open Bag of Flour Spills and Aborts His Cake

SCHLAFLY RIVER, TEXAS-- 56-year-old Kellen Masteroni has been a baker in his small Texas...

Palm Beach Burger King Cook ‘Wouldn’t Bet’ on Trump Winning in 2024

PALM BEACH, FLORIDUH -- Juan Miguel Vincente, 32, has been working at the Burger...

5 Sandwiches to Order Instead of Administering the Heimlich Maneuver to a Choking Mitch McConnell

It's happened to so many of us we've probably lost count. You walk into a...

One Had Well Done Steak, The Other Had Trump Dick

It was a night one of them would never forget, and that was forgotten...

Trump Left Behind Unpaid $1 Million McDonald’s Tab for Biden Administration

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Presidential transitions take time, and as such, it can be months...

Trump to Visit the Border Between Burger King and McDonald’s

"Someone of my stature, of my importance, should not have to wait even a minute for his Big Mac and his Whopper."

Sure Marjorie Taylor Greene is an Unhinged Racist, But She Makes Amazing Grits!

Freshman Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-MAGAstan) has had quite a first couple of weeks...

QAnon Shaman Won’t Eat Unless Its Organic or Trump’s Ass

While in federal custody, Jacob Chansley -- known worldwide now as "The QAnon Shaman" --...

Stephen Miller Plans to Go from Working at the White House to Working at a White Castle

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whenever a presidential administration comes to a close, there are dozens...

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Betrayal? RFK’s Brain Worms Just Endorsed Donald Trump

"Much like how an Evangelical Christian can read the Bible and not know anything...

Every Former President Ranked from Least to Most Felony Convictions

Our regular readers will likely recall that part of our mission statement here --...

When Will Biden Call Off His War on Rapey Conmen Coup Conspirators?

The following editorial was written by Jethro Bohiggins -- a pro-MAGA singer/songwriter and podcast...

The RNC Will Officially Change Its Platform to Be Very, Very, Very, Very Soft on Crime

"...you need to do what happens to my TOTALLY NORMAL AND ABOVE-AVERAGE LENGTH PEEN...