If I Can’t Vote for a Monarch With Immunity, I Don’t Have Freedom, Do I?

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The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and author Dustin Pewpsin. The views and opinions expressed herein are those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not necessarily those of this outlet and its management or ownership.

“I love America, but I do not love about  65-70% of Americans, mainly because they believe stupid stuff like we shouldn’t have presidents that are above the law.”

It’s becoming increasingly clear to me that the Constitution was written by Never Trumpers.

I say this because that document apparently gives the so-called “Judicial Branch” of our government the right to hold former presidents — even white, pretend Christian pretend billionaire ones — accountable. The Constitution I guess has these very left-wing Soros-funded things called “checks and balances in them,” and lets courts and even Congress tell our Good Kingly President he cannot do something! And apparently that Constitution is so anti-Trump, it’s what gave the D.C. circuit of appeals the ammunition they needed to rule that Donald Trump isn’t immune from prosecution for crimes he committed. I have this dark, sinking feeling that means Trump can’t just shoot people out on Fifth Avenue if he wants to.

What a terrible precedent this sets.

All we good, clean, ammo hoarding, Jesus Loving, gay-kid hating, clitoris denying American patriots have demanded this whole time is the simple ability to elect a permanent monarch. We want someone who can be president — as long as they’re a REPUBLICAN — forever and never get brought up on charges for any crimes he commits! What is so un-American about a president who is better than everyone else he serves?

Plus, clearly, we’ve shown — not so much with evidence but with our deeply held conspiracy theories — that we can’t trust any election result where we don’t win. And the best way to always win is to never have a real election, which means we should get to install a king.

But what good is being king, if stupid, DemonRAT, lib-todded jerks on the left can just find “evidence of your crimes” and prosecute you in court with it? That doesn’t remotely sound like America to me. At least it doesn’t sound like an America I choose to live in.

I love America, but I do not love about  65-70% of Americans, mainly because they believe stupid stuff like we shouldn’t have presidents that are above the law.

What good is a president who can’t just do whatever he wants without any consequences? Don’t we want a president to have the power to nuke California if he doesn’t like how mean they are to him? Don’t we Americans, we TRUE Americans, have a right to force every other American to live under a lawless, tyrannical, former reality-TV game show host’s reign of stupidity and born again daughter lust…if that’s what we want?

Up to this point, I’d tell you to find me a place in the Constitution that says presidents aren’t immune to prosecution, but the D.C. appeals court made it clear that as I said earlier, that document was written by Never-Trump cucks. So at this point, I don’t have answers. Just a lot of hurt feelings, and I don’t know where to direct them.

Maybe I’ll go storm a capitol to work my big emotions out. Check back in later; I bet that helps really clear my head.

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