Search
HomePew Pew!

Pew Pew!

Religion

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project 2025, or anything like it. That's what he told me during a recent lunch date at Jersey Mike's. That's not a...
Arts & Entertainment

Once I Learned to Read, I Realized The Left Actually Can and Does Meme

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump White House official Dustin Pewpsin. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not necessarily this outlet, its ownership, or staff. "It baffled me. Truly. I learn to read, and more importantly...

Keep exploring

Pew Pew!

After TN Christian School Shooting, NRA Wants Armed Gods in the Classroom

By now, most Americans have realized that mass shooting events at schools are just...
MAGA News

After Recent Mass Shootings, George Santos Apologizes for Inventing the Gun

Just this week, three separate mass shootings rocked California, a state with relatively stronger...
Pew Pew!

NRA Congratulates California on Two Mass Shootings in Two Days

This week, California saw to two deadly mass shootings in two consecutive days. They...
Pew Pew!

Boebert Gives Up Right to Vote, Bear Arms, & Hold Office Because the Constitution Never Changes

"The Constitution is not evolving. To say that spits in the face of every...
Pew Pew!

Matt Gaetz Poses With Someone Else’s Daughters Holding AR-15’s for His Christmas Card

Never one to pass up an opportunity to join in on the fun his...
Pew Pew!

Condolences Overwhelmed Rep. Thomas Massie’s Office After He Publicized His Micro-Penis

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Thomas Massie (Q-KY) is being cheered by his colleagues on...
Pew Pew!

Michigan High School Hosts America’s Most Recent Mass Second Amendment Demonstration

OXFORD, MICHIGAN -- Three students are dead, and six others have been injured in...
Pew Pew!

Rittenhouse Offered to Shoot Someone on 5th Avenue for Trump During Their Mar-A-Lago Meeting

MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDUH -- Former, one term, tiny-donged, daughter lusting, twice forever impeached President Don...
Criminal Justice

Rittenhouse’s Mother Unsure Whether to Seat Him at Kids’ Table or Murderer’s Table

ORENTHAL, ILLINOIS -- For the first time in over a year, Wendy Rittenhouse will...
Criminal Justice

Rittenhouse Judge Asks Jury to End Deliberations So He and Kyle Can Attend Proud Boy Meeting

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- Judge Bruce Schroeder and accused vigilante double-murderer Kyle Rittenhouse have a...
Criminal Justice

Rittenhouse Judge Instructs Jurors to Plug Ears, Shout ‘La La La’ During Prosecution’s Closing

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- As prosecutors in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial present their closing arguments,...
Criminal Justice

Trump Announces Next MAGA Rally Will Be Held in Rittenhouse Courtroom

FARTS-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Former, one term, twice-forever-impeached President Donald Trump announced plans to hold...
Load more

Latest articles

Religion

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity...
Arts & Entertainment

Once I Learned to Read, I Realized The Left Actually Can and Does Meme

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump White House official Dustin...
Lifestyle

God Told Me Oklahoma Kids Will Be ‘Stupid as Fuck’ After the Bible is Taught in Schools

"...do they really think it covers me in glory to have a bunch of...
U.S. Politics

Someone Accidentally Sent Me a Copy of The Biden/Trump Debate Questions

Don't ask me how it happened, but it would appear that someone at CNN...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)