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Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone. That might sound odd to we Americans who have been told all our lives that presidents are not just role models, they represent all of us." Let he who has not...
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are pretty much the same thing. I mean, if they weren't, wouldn't all the conservatives who were...raising alarms about the lack of free speech on college campuses be freaking out about...

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Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Criminal Justice

I Applaud Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Efforts to Free My Antifa Brethren From Jail

"...imagine my shock and surprise when Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene started her attention whoring...
Criminal Justice

I Just Got a Sneak Peak at Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Signature Shoe Line

"I lied to him and told him that I was a friend of the...
Arts & Entertainment

To Save Trump’s Business Empire, It’s Time to Hand Control to Taylor Swift

Clearly, nobody currently on Team Trump has any idea how to run a business...
Criminal Justice

Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me I Had Fucking Presidential Immunity?!

The following editorial was written and submitted by former President and alive human, Richard...
Criminal Justice

Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How did this end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have...
Criminal Justice

A Complete List of All the 2024 Presidential Candidates Currently on Trial for Rape

In New York City, a former President of the United States is being sued...
Criminal Justice

Clarence Thomas Found a Pubic Hair on Harlan Crow’s Nazi Linens

"...we all heard just absolutely ear shattering laughter coming from the room where Mr....
Criminal Justice

Trump Boys Ask Lawyers if Daddy Can Just Be “Out-dicted”

Sources close to the situation have reported to various media outlets that former President...
Criminal Justice

Greene Waiting for Trump’s Signal to Spring Him From Jail Using Secret Space Laser

Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) is probably former President Donald Trump's biggest cheerleader who...
Criminal Justice

Is Donald Trump Going to Cry About It?

Yesterday was not a good day for former, one term, twice forever impeached and...
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Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)