I Applaud Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Efforts to Free My Antifa Brethren From Jail

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“…imagine my shock and surprise when Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene started her attention whoring campaign and kept talking about my captured Antifa brethren.”

Just over three years ago, an angry, unruly mob attacked the nation’s capitol. Very few in our government had the kind of intelligence it takes to see that attack for what it was: A coordinated assault planned and carried out by Antifa operatives. But there was one congresspony from Georgia who not only called it for what it was back then, she has been working tirelessly to get those Antifa soldiers freed from prison while they await trial for their participation in the January 6th insurrection.

And you know what? I applaud her for that.

As a card carrying member of Antifa, Inc., I was quite sad when I wasn’t able to go to D.C. and take part in the operation. I even sent Lord George Soros an email apologizing for not being able to make it, and I CC’d Robert Antifa, our CEO and President. So, imagine my shock and surprise when Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene started her attention whoring campaign and kept talking about my captured Antifa brethren. After all, she’s definitely not someone on our side in most things. She’s very anti-Antifa, actually, which we assumed just made her a regular ol’ fascist, but since Marjorie can’t stop bringing them up and advocating for their release, maybe we were wrong about her?

They say politics makes for strange bedfellows, but I don’t think even Lord Soros or his second in command Barack HUSSEIN Obama could have predicted that Marjorie would be such a staunch ally for our imprisoned warriors. Everyone knows that Antifa is a very real, physical organization with org charts and membership IDs and everything, so when someone from outside our very real organization, who doesn’t have an ID and doesn’t know our secret handshake, joins our cause, it’s something to take notice of.

While I really couldn’t tell you why a racist, Jesus Freak nerd like Marjorie would join our anti-fasicst movement, I do have three theories, and I’ll close by giving them to you, and you can tell me if you think any of my theories hold water.

  1. Marjorie Taylor Greene has been a sleeper cell operative for Antifa since the very beginning, and deserves some kind of Oscar for only pretending to be a fascist.
  2. George Soros got to Marjorie and paid her enough in cash and oats to convince her to join our cause.
  3. Marjorie Taylor Greene is a cynical fucking moron who will say whatever she thinks she has to “own the libs” and please her orange tinted, daughter-lusting boyfriend.

Maybe I’m way off. Who knows?

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