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I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...

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Science & Medicine

Why Didn’t His Natural Immunity to Crashes Keep Him Being Thrown From His Car?

LAKE FARTFACE, MICHIGAN -- Friends and family gathered this week to bury Larry Lombowski,...
MAGA News

Experts Agree: Four Out of Five MAGAS Can’t Make Their Cousins Climax

Fascinating new data from the National Institute of Boner and Contraboner Research might be...
Conservative Media

Joe Rogan Took a Shower Live on His Podcast and Still Didn’t Believe Water is Wet

FT. STUPID, TEXAS -- Former reality-TV game show host, podcaster, and world's foremost infectious...
Science & Medicine

23andMe Finds DNA Link Between Jim Crow and Kyrsten Sinema

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A new bombshell report from genetic testing company 23andMe...
Science & Medicine

NFL Approves Rule Change Forcing Anti-Vaxxer Players to Remove Their Helmets and Pads

NFL players who are anti-vaccine will be forced to strip off their pads and...
Science & Medicine

Fauci to Paul: “In My Non Self-Certified Medical Opinion, You’re a Bitch-Ass Lying Traitor”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After two years of the global COVID-19 pandemic and the federal...
Science & Medicine

Decades Ago, Doctors Already Figured Out How to Put a Human Heart in a Pig

This week, a modern medical marvel took place. At the University of Maryland, doctors successfully...
Science & Medicine

Op-Ed: How Come I Drank Gallons of Trump’s Pee and Still Got COVID?

The following editorial was written and submitted by Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL). The views...
Science & Medicine

If You Hear Your Uncle Say This Three Word Phrase, Get Him to a Neurologist ASAP!

Knowing the signs of life-threatening medical emergencies can save your life, and the lives...
Criminal Justice

This One Simple Trick Could Have Saved Ashli Babbitt’s Life

Last year, former one term, twice permanently impeached President Don Trump was still, technically...
Science & Medicine

Manchin: “West Virginia Kids Told Me They Want to Breathe Dirty Air in a Broke, Disgusting State”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite polling data that shows voters in his state support it...
Food and Dining

Brave, Maskless Patriot Would Rather Be Arrested Than Leave McDonald’s Without His McNuggets

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- At the time of publication, right-wing podcaster and self-described...
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

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