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I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...

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Conservative Media

Tucker Carlson Lands Exclusive Interview With Putin’s Taint

A visibly excited Tucker Carlson announced on Fox News this morning that he would...
Conservative Media

We Know It’s Not a Brain, So What’s Inside Dan Bongino’s Enormous Skull?

Of all the right-wing media personalities in America, none have a cranium as large...
Conservative Media

Bongino Leaves YouTube and Will Exclusively Post Show Clips on His Giant Fucking Forehead

This morning, right-wing agitator and propagandist Dan Bongino announced that he was leaving YouTube...
Conservative Media

Biden: “I Don’t Know Pete Doocy’s Parents, So I Had No Right to Call Him a Son of a Bitch.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, a Fox News White House reporter asked President Joe Biden...
Conservative Media

Tucker Carlson Will Rub Reese’s Pieces on His Ken Doll Patch Instead

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Fox News host Tucker Carlson is breaking off what...
Conservative Media

Joe Rogan Took a Shower Live on His Podcast and Still Didn’t Believe Water is Wet

FT. STUPID, TEXAS -- Former reality-TV game show host, podcaster, and world's foremost infectious...
Conservative Media

Dan Bongino: “Crosswalks Tyrannize Drivers Who Don’t Want to Slow Down for Pedestrians”

LAKE MORON, FLORIDA -- An angry, teary-eyed Dan Bongino -- thrice failed congressional candidate...
Conservative Media

Can All Right-Wing Twitter Trolls Suck Their Own Dick, or Just Glenn Greenwald?

The social media microblogging website Twitter has more than its fair share of right-wing...
Conservative Media

Disgruntled OAN Viewers Can Still Get The Same Information at Their Next Klan Rally

Last week, AT&T stunned millions of unwashed, cousin-lusting Americans when it announced that it...
Conservative Media

Analysis: 90% of Videos on Rumble Are Dan Bongino Hate-Spanking to AOC Clips

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Recently, right-wing agitator Dan Bongino was temporarily suspended from...
Conservative Media

Mike Lindell Claims to Have Evidence Millions of Americans ‘Wanted Trump to Lose’

Mike Lindell, the embattled CEO of MyPillow and MyCrackpipe, announced on Steve Bannon's podcast...
Conservative Media

Tucker Carlson Will Only Spend Angelou Quarters Once He Spends the Ones with White Guys On Them

Fox News host and trust fund white supremacist Tucker Carlson inherited wealth that equates...
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Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)