Disgruntled OAN Viewers Can Still Get The Same Information at Their Next Klan Rally

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Last week, AT&T stunned millions of unwashed, cousin-lusting Americans when it announced that it would no longer carry One America News — known to fans as “OAN.”

The right-wing, pro-MAGA propaganda outlet has already had a tumultuous last year in the wake of Don Trump’s defeats both at the ballot box and on Insurrection Day. OAN was named in multiple defamation lawsuits that could cost the company hundreds of millions of dollars for its role in amplifying Trump’s lies about 2020’s election. Losing the revenue that a contract with AT&T brought them could cripple OAN, analysts have warned.

While some wonder how long the network, will continue to operate, the white nationalists behind it are assuring upset viewers that they can still get the information they come to expect from OAN.

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“For starters, every OAN viewer should rest assured that, upon his restoration to the Presidential Throne, Don Trump will make AT&T pay bigly,” Jack Posobiec, OAN anchor, told Fox Business this morning. “I am as sure about that as I was that night I carried a RAPE MELANIA sign and pretended to be a liberal — GOOGLE IT FAM! But even if somehow they manage to force us to live under the Constitution instead of our feelings, everyone can still get all the information and news they’d normally get from us; they just have to attend their next local klan rally.”

Posobiec divulged that “85-90% of the stuff you hear on OAN” is written by a staff writer at Stormfront, the KKK’s newsletter.

“Management figured out a long time ago that it was far cheaper to just recycle stuff from the klan guy than it was to come up with fresh content all on our own,” Posobiec admitted. “One of the things I love most about working at OAN is their commitment to 18th century racial politics and 18th century economic models.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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