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I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...

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Sports

Sha’Carri Richardson Suspended After Testing Positive for Snack Enhancing Drug

Olympic sprinter Sha'Carri Richardson will miss her signature 100-meter dash event at the 2021...
Sports

Olympic Swimmer Not Kicked Off Team After Showing to Up Practice Drunk

LAKE HOOCH, FLORIDA -- 27-year-old Olympic swimmer Ryan McGee will not be kicked off...
Sports

Man Who Can’t Compete in Any Athletic Setting Wants to Talk to You About Trans Athletes

NEEDLEDICK, FLORIDA -- 53 year old non-union electrician Joey Mahoney can't run very well,...
Sports

Ann Coulter Still Hopes to Win Triple Crown Next Year

One horse in particular is quite sad this morning. "I don't know, at my age...
LGTBQ+

Man Threatens to Boycott Women’s Sport He Doesn’t Watch If It Allows Trans Athletes

"I'll watch them even less than never!"
Sports

Colin Kaepernick Would Like a Word With Jim Jordan About “Cancel Culture”

SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA -- Former NFL quarterback and activist Colin Kaepernick is seeking a...
Sports

Radical Leftist Nails Kickflip, Supports Medicare for All

LOS AMIGOS ISQUERDOS, CALIFORNIA -- 22-year old Matt Robin is a radical leftist. At...
Sports

Do We Live in America Anymore If There Aren’t Any Racist Team Mascots?

This week, the Cleveland Indians, one of Major League Baseball's longest running franchises, announced...
Sports

Brett Favre ‘Thankful’ for Career Full of Head Injuries That Inspired Him to Vote for Trump

Yesterday, former NFL quarterback Brett Favre made national headlines. It's not something that is...
Sports

President Declares Tampa Bay Rays Winners of World Series ‘By Electoral College Rules’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Los Angeles Dodgers capped off a season for the ages,...
Sports

Cowboys Change Cheerleader Squad Name to “Super Spreaders”

DALLASS, TEXASS -- This week, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones -- whose body and...
Sports

MLB Institutes Designated Ventilator Rule

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- In a fairly unprecedented development, Major League Baseball today...
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)