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Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less a long-distance relationship with your cult leader's dick?" A lot of folks online have been noticing that elected congressional Republicans have been showing up to support Donald Trump while he's put...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that training at The New School might have paid off." Well, the stage seems to be set for at least a couple of debates between incumbent President Joe Biden and the man...

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Conservative Media

Hannity Demands Full Audit of 1860 Presidential Election

Fox News host Sean Hannity told his radio audience today that he believes all...
Conservative Media

Documents Reveal AT&T is a Major Financial Backer of KlanTV

DALLAS, TEXAS -- From its inception, One American News Network -- known more commonly...
Conservative Media

McEnany Blames Murder Rate Spike in 2020 on ‘Anti-Trumper Criminals’ Helping Biden’s Campaign

This morning, former White House Chief Bullshit Artist Kayleigh McEnany tweeted and quickly deleted...
Conservative Media

Tucker Carlson Will Interview Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Balls on Tonight’s Show

"I really think it makes sense for a dick like me to interview a...
Conservative Media

Dr. Alex Jones Prescribes 30 mg of Chemtrails and Frog De-Gayer for Joe Rogan’s COVID

FT. DIPSHIT, TEXAS -- Yesterday, to the shock of absolutely nobody who passed high...
Conservative Media

Liar Makes Truly Idiotic Claim About Crises During Crybaby Sore Loser’s Presidency

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Appearing on Fox News today, known liar and moron...
Conservative Media

Laura Ingraham Reveals She Watches “Django Unchained” Backwards When Flicking Her Bean

Nobody asked for it. In fact, nobody insofar as we can tell was even...
Conservative Media

Penis-Shaped Racist Shares His Thoughts on Afghan Refugees With Laura Ingraham

TRANSYLVANIA, FLORIDUH -- Last night on Fox News, host Laura Ingraham welcomed a penis-shaped...
Conservative Media

Sean Spicer Predicts Trump Will Have the Biggest Reinstatement Crowd Ever. Period.

GOEBBELS, FLORIDA -- Former White House Press Sniveling Toady Sean Spicer said on his...
Conservative Media

Meghan McCain’s Hairdresser Thankful They No Longer Have to Send Coded Cries for Help

Since 2017, Meghan McCain's hairdresser has been sending coded signals to audience members watching The...
Conservative Media

Charlie Kirk Wins Gold Medal for Having a Terrifyingly Small Face on a Hilariously Giant Head

Right-wing provocateur Charlie Kirk made waves today when he lashed out and criticized multiple-gold...
Conservative Media

Ingraham on D.C. Police Testimony: “From Now On, I Only Back the Blue When They Kill the Blacks”

Last night, Fox News host and aging fascist Laura Ingraham lashed out at the...
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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)