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Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone. That might sound odd to we Americans who have been told all our lives that presidents are not just role models, they represent all of us." Let he who has not...
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are pretty much the same thing. I mean, if they weren't, wouldn't all the conservatives who were...raising alarms about the lack of free speech on college campuses be freaking out about...

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Conservative Media

Ted Cruz Insists He Can Gargle Tucker and Trump’s Fruit Baskets Simultaneously

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Two days ago, Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) described the events of...
Conservative Media

Hannity Was Served His January 6th Subpoena While He Was Still Inside Trump’s Butthole

MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Not long after the Select Congressional Committee investigating the events of...
Conservative Media

Four Foot Tall Man Famous for Convincing People to Eat Bugs Confirms Deep State is “100% Real”

FUCKSBERG, TEXAS -- A short man, barely four feet tall, told his massive podcast...
Conservative Media

Jesus Christ Doesn’t ‘Have Any Fucks to Give’ About the Fox News Christmas Tree

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This week, Conservative America has been highly focused on...
Conservative Media

Tucker Carlson: Dark Meat ‘Doesn’t Belong’ Next to White Meat on His Dinner Plate

When Fox News host Tucker Carlson sits down to eat Thanksgiving Dinner with his...
Conservative Media

Kyle Rittenhouse and George Zimmerman Will Headline “Bushmaster/Skittles White Hood Comedy Tour”

Recently acquitted murderer Kyle Rittenhouse will join fellow acquitted murderer George Zimmerman on what's...
Conservative Media

Bill Maher to Replace Monologue With Shouting at ‘Woke Kids’ to Get Off His Lawn

HOLLYWOOB, CALIFORNIA -- Beginning next month, viewers of Real Time With Bill Maher will be treated...
Conservative Media

At Last, Our Long, National Infrastructure Week, Is Over

In the nation's capital yesterday, several Democrats and, notably, more than a dozen Republicans,...
Conservative Media

McEnany: She’ll Put Jan 6 Subpoena on the Mantle Next to Her Autographed Pic of Trump’s Dong

The subpoena she receives from the January 6th select congressional committee will be given...
Conservative Media

Man Apologizes for Losing Track of His Dick Long Enough for It to Become Fox News Host

BALLCRUST VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- It's a time in his life Jack Strohkinoff will never...
Conservative Media

We Corrected All of Trump’s Lies in His Wall Street Journal Letter to the Editor

Yesterday, Rupert Murdoch's print version of Fox News, The Wall Street Journal, published a diatribe written...
Conservative Media

After Reading Meghan McCain’s Book, Biden Awards Goldberg and Behar Presidential Medals

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In her new book, conservative commentator Meghan McCain largely blames her...
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Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)