At Last, Our Long, National Infrastructure Week, Is Over

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In the nation’s capital yesterday, several Democrats and, notably, more than a dozen Republicans, joined President Joe Biden as he signed the country’s biggest infrastructure spending bill in decades into law. Biden’s signing brought to a conclusion one of the most harrowing and dangerous times in American history — Infrastructure Week.

Perhaps the country will never know what made Infrastructure Week so hard for Biden’s predecessor to complete. All Americans might ever know is that for four years, a one-term, twice permanently impeached racist con man and D-list celebrity reality-TV game show host promised that his administration would deliver on infrastructure, and he failed to ever complete that promise. Some scholars have noted that this is not the first time President Biden has stepped in to finish something Don Trump could not.


“Whether it’s the Afghan War drawdown, getting the pandemic under control, or this infrastructure bill, one thing is certain,” Dr. Eliza Martin, Prof. of History at Northsouthwest Texas University told us in a Skype call.

“It’s clear that Biden has a penchant for doing things Trump just simply cannot. I wouldn’t be surprised if Biden keeps on doing this. In fact, I’m going on record right now, if Biden manages to do something Trump has always dreamed of, but never gotten done again, he wins 2024 pretty substantially. The question is if First Lady Biden will give Joe a hall pass so he can try to make Ivanka cum.”

Dr. Henry Jones Jr, a professor of archaeology and expert in calendars told us that this is the first recorded example of a week taking four years to complete.

“I’ve seen some wild things in my time. We’re talking next level shit. Religious artifacts capable of killing Nazis, dudes living for a short period of time after their hearts are ripped out of their chests, and even knights from the Crusades, still alive thanks to a magic Jesus cup,” Jones told us.

“What I’ve never seen is a week stretch into a month, much less a year, much less four, almost five years. Really wild stuff here. It’s, dare I say it, kind of hard to believe. Which is saying something since I survived a nuclear test blast by hiding in a fridge, which up to this point was the most sensational and unbelievable event in my life.”


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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.


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