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Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone. That might sound odd to we Americans who have been told all our lives that presidents are not just role models, they represent all of us." Let he who has not...
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are pretty much the same thing. I mean, if they weren't, wouldn't all the conservatives who were...raising alarms about the lack of free speech on college campuses be freaking out about...

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Sports

DeSantis Bans Talking About Super Bowl LVII Halftime Show in the Classroom

Singer Rihanna was the marquee star of yesterday's Super Bowl LVII halftime show. During...
Sports

Kari Lake Tells Newsmax She Can Prove The Eagles Actually Won Super Bowl LVII

In an interview this morning, certified election loser and Not Arizona's Governor Kari Lake...
LGTBQ+

Matt Gaetz to Personally Collect Florida’s Student Athlete Menstrual Data

The State of Florida is set to begin collecting menstrual data from its high...
Sports

DeSantis Bans Talking About Super Bowl LVI Halftime Show in the Classroom

TALAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- Teachers in America's Dong State are forbidden from discussing the halftime...
MAGA News

Trump: Bengals Lost a ‘Rigged’ Super Bowl When Officials Kept Counting the Rams’ Points

FARTS-A-LOT-THOUGH, FLORIDA -- In his mind, the Cincinnati Bengals won the Super Bowl last...
Sports

Del Mar Racetrack Cancels Greene’s Stable Rental Due to Lack of Payment

DEL MAR, CALIFORNIA -- Freshman Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene will no longer be able...
Science & Medicine

NFL Approves Rule Change Forcing Anti-Vaxxer Players to Remove Their Helmets and Pads

NFL players who are anti-vaccine will be forced to strip off their pads and...
Sports

Trump: The Houston Astros Really Won Game 1 of the World Series

FARTS-A-LOT-THOUGH, FLORIDA -- Last night, according to the scoreboard, the Houston Astros lost Game...
Sports

Coulter and Greene to Race at Churchill Downs for Charity

Two of America's favorite female equine-Americans have agreed to race for charity, according a...
Sports

Unathletic Traitor Has Some Thoughts to Share on Simone Biles

MT. DICKHOLE, WEST VIRGINIA -- 48-year-old Doug Palumbo is not what anyone would call...
Sports

Patriotic American Rooting For Socialist Countries to Beat U.S. Women’s Soccer Team

WHISTLING DICK LAKE, FLORIDA -- 34-year-old Marcus Palumbo is a self-described "über patriot," and...
Sports

Greene ‘Devastated’ She Wasn’t Picked for Olympic Equestrian Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) makes no secret of her...
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)