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Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are pretty much the same thing. I mean, if they weren't, wouldn't all the conservatives who were...raising alarms about the lack of free speech on college campuses be freaking out about...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

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Criminal Justice

Florida Nun Unsure If She’ll Be Arrested After Teaching Students About the Immaculate Conception

"It's tough for me to know, legally speaking, if discussing statutory rape is kosher...
Criminal Justice

Rittenhouse Suing Anyone Who Says He’s a Murderer Just Because He Murdered Two People

LAKE MATALOS, ILLINOIS -- In 2020, acquitted murderer Kyle Rittenhouse murdered two people during...
Criminal Justice

Trump Not Sure What to Say If He’s Asked Under Oath Whether He Loves Don Jr.

According to sources within the Trump family, defeated and twice permanently impeached President Donald...
Criminal Justice

NY Attorney General Explains Why She’s Not Forcing The Obamas to Sit For Deposition

This week, a New York Supreme Court judge ruled that former President Donald J....
Criminal Justice

Biden Gave January 6th Committee Thousands of Nude Images of Ivanka Left Behind By Trump

This week, President Joe Biden denied his predecessor's request to extend executive privilege over...
Criminal Justice

Eric Trump Wants to Know Why White People ‘Aren’t Allowed to Commit White Collar Crimes’

In an interview on Sean Hannity's Fox News evening show, former President Don Trump's...
Criminal Justice

Gazpacho Police Announce Massive Counterfeit Oyster Cracker Bust

https://youtu.be/hqWJDFRyc2w WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Nancy Pelosi's personal law enforcement squad, the Gazpacho Police, held a...
Criminal Justice

Trump Demands Pence Be Investigated For Not Letting Himself Be Hanged by MAGA Supporters

FARTS-A-LOT-THO, FLORIDA -- Taking in a second buffet lunch of the day so far, ...
Criminal Justice

Stupidfuck Promises to Pardon Dumbfucks Who Attempted Idiotic Coup on His Behalf

This weekend, a defeated former president and confirmed stupidfuck -- who has yet to...
Criminal Justice

Obama Tells Biden He Can ‘Think of One Black Woman With a Law Degree’ to Replace Breyer

President Joe Biden is currently conducting a search for someone to replace retiring Supreme...
Criminal Justice

Investigators Find Justice Thomas’ Pubes on Forged Electoral Certificates

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In an attempt to keep defeated President Donald J. Trump in...
Criminal Justice

Trump Has Offered to Turn State’s Evidence Against Jared

FARTS-A-LOT-THOUGH, FLORIDA -- In perhaps an unsurprising twist, former President Don Trump has offered...
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Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)