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Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...

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Arts & Entertainment

Amazon Delivered Crates of Crayons to Mar-A-Lago for Trump to Write Memoir

FAR-TA-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Sources close to the situation in Florida are telling us that...
Arts & Entertainment

Lauren Boebert Wishes Happy May 4th to ‘All Fans of Star Tracks’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Congresswoman Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) is a big fan of movies,...
Arts & Entertainment

Musk Asked SNL to Bring on Babylon Bee Writers So Show Can Be One, Never-Ending Gender Identification Joke

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- If billionaires are known for anything, it's their natural...
Arts & Entertainment

Ted Nugent Reportedly Tried Shitting His Pants to Avoid Getting Covid

"Some folks just stick with what they know."
Arts & Entertainment

Jesus Says Lil Nas X Can Grind on Him in His Next Video as ‘An Olive Branch to MAGA’

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, the son of Larry "God" Schumway...
Arts & Entertainment

Leaked Access Hollywood Tape Shows Pepé Le Pew Insisting Women Let Him Do Anything Because He’s a Star

Pepé Le Pew is caught on a newly released tape bragging about his sexually...
Arts & Entertainment

‘The Mandalorian’ Will Digitally Replace Gina Carano With AOC Wearing a Mask

BURBANK, CALIFORNIA -- It’s been a busy week for Disney Star Wars news, and today...
Arts & Entertainment

Gina Carano Identifies As Unemployed

HOLLYWOOB, CALIFORNIA -- Alt-right Nazi sympathizer, former human punching bag, and alleged actress Gina...
Arts & Entertainment

TIME Magazine Names Trump ‘Sore Loser Crybaby Bitch of the Year’

This week, TIME Magazine named President and Vice-President-elect Joe Biden and Kamala Harris as...
Arts & Entertainment

Citing Pending Litigation, the Black Knight Refuses to Concede

THE FORESTS OF ENGLAND -- Despite the fact that he is now without arms...
Arts & Entertainment

Local Witch Casts “ShutTheFuckUpicus Totallus” Curse on JK Rowling

GODRIC'S HOLLOW, LONDON, UK, THE WIZARDING WORLD -- While it's unclear at this time...
Arts & Entertainment

Trans Woman Unsure If JK Rowling Wants Her to Identify With Voldemort or Harry Now

CHERRY FALLS, RHODE ISLAND -- Sheila Williams loves Harry Potter, and she loves the...
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Latest articles

Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)