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War on Christmas

Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone. That might sound odd to we Americans who have been told all our lives that presidents are not just role models, they represent all of us." Let he who has not...
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are pretty much the same thing. I mean, if they weren't, wouldn't all the conservatives who were...raising alarms about the lack of free speech on college campuses be freaking out about...

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Pew Pew!

Matt Gaetz Poses With Someone Else’s Daughters Holding AR-15’s for His Christmas Card

Never one to pass up an opportunity to join in on the fun his...
War on Christmas

Biden Signs Presidential Declaration Stating “All Holidays Matter”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In an official signing ceremony held in the Oval Office, President...
War on Christmas

Republican State Rep. Wants to ‘Defend Christmas’ by Outlawing ‘All Pagan Rituals and Holidays’

CORNHOLE, TEXAS -- State Rep. Tom Thompaulsen (R-TX) filed paperwork in Texas this week,...
War on Christmas

When Will Biden Officially Cancel Christmas This Year?

Everyone knows it's coming. The former president warned us -- only he could protect the most...
Business

Starbucks Rolls Out Hanukkah, Kwanza, Church of Satan Holiday Cups

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Coffee purveyor Starbucks announced three new holiday cups will start making...
War on Christmas

Biden Makes “Merry Christmas” Illegal Again

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Some on the right have accused President Joe Biden of being...
War on Christmas

Horny Jesus Reminds You He’s Also the Reason for the Squeezin’

SEXXXY HEAVEN -- Horny Jesus Christ, the super-sexed-up version of the character from the...
War on Christmas

In 5-4 Decision, Supreme Court Says Jesus Is the Reason for the Season

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Supreme Court ruled last week, in a narrow, 5-4...
War on Christmas

Trump Orders Additional “K” Added To Hanukkah to “Make Jew Christmas Great Again”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, in an Oval Office signing ceremony attended by American Christian...
War on Christmas

Trump and Obama Sign Treaty Officially Ending War on Christmas

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- He may be facing an uncertain political future, and he may...
Conservative Media

Tomi Lahren: “Non-White Portrayals of Baby Jesus Put You on Santa’s Naughty List”

With just days before Christmas, Fox News contributing racist Tabula Lahren told viewers on...
War on Christmas

Chick-Fil-A Introduces New “Merry Christmas” Covfefe Cup

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Fast food purveyor Chick-Fil-A announced last week that all hot or...
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)