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Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone. That might sound odd to we Americans who have been told all our lives that presidents are not just role models, they represent all of us." Let he who has not...
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are pretty much the same thing. I mean, if they weren't, wouldn't all the conservatives who were...raising alarms about the lack of free speech on college campuses be freaking out about...

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Lifestyle

Man and Weed Dealer Have Agreement Not to Discuss Politics

LOS BURRITOS MOJADOS, CALIFORNIA -- Every couple of weeks, 40 year old computer programmer...
The War on Drugs

Is Weed Really Safe? Man Smokes Pot, Suffers Lava Burns 36 Hours Later

How safe is legal weed if you can smoke some literally days later get into an accident?
The War on Drugs

Cannabis Overdoses Multiplied By Over 1,000,000% in 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The National Institute of Drug Policy and Research teamed up with...
Business

Vatican Unveils Papal Vape-als Line of Holy THC Products

THE VATICAN -- Since ascending to the Catholic Church's highest and most important post,...
The War on Drugs

Marijuana Overdoses Multiplied By Over 1,000,000% Last Year

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The National Institute of Drug Policy and Research teamed up with...
The War on Drugs

7 Signs Your Cat Wants to Get Baked and Watch “Queer Eye” With You

For years, zoologists and veterinarians have known but not understood a curious fact about...
The War on Drugs

Jeff Sessions Can Finally Unwind, Smoke a Doob, and Forget About Persecuting Brown People Awhile

GREEN FIELD SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA -- Just after former Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced his...
History

Historians Discover George Washington’s Long Lost Weed Stash

FREDERICKSBERG, VIRGINIA -- In an extremely unforeseen development, President George Washington's personal cache of...
The War on Drugs

Economists: Legal California Marijuana Will Make In ‘N’ Out Richer Than God By 2028

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Economists at the National Institute of Cash Money released...
Food and Dining

5 Easy Edible Cannabis Recipes

We asked you to send us your favorite marijuana edibles recipes, because that's how...
The War on Drugs

Nothing Out Of The Ordinary Happens After California Man Smokes Legal Weed

RAIN CANYON, CALIFORNIA -- Authorities in California are confirming that over the weekend a...
The War on Drugs

Jeff Sessions Says He’s Not Surprised ‘That Long Haired, Loony Liberal John Boehner’ Joined Marijuana Firm

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, it was announced that former Speaker of the House...
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)