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Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are pretty much the same thing. I mean, if they weren't, wouldn't all the conservatives who were...raising alarms about the lack of free speech on college campuses be freaking out about...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

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Religion

Greene Spent Easter Sunday Worshiping Her Savior and His Son, Donald Trump Jr.

Marjorie Taylor Greene spent her Easter Sunday worshiping her lord and savior like so many other right-wing American Christians did.
LGTBQ+

Pat Robertson: God Wants Republicans to ‘Crotch Check’ Student Athletes

The 80+ year old televangelist said Jesus told him personally he needs to protect the "integrity" of sports by feeling up student athletes before their games.
Arts & Entertainment

Jesus Says Lil Nas X Can Grind on Him in His Next Video as ‘An Olive Branch to MAGA’

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, the son of Larry "God" Schumway...
LGTBQ+

Pope Francis Says Catholic Church Can Still Bless and Cover-Up Same-Sex Molestations

VATICAN CITY, VATICAN -- Pope Francis issued a statement this weekend barring priests in...
Religion

Pat Robertson Says God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting Married’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning for America: Stop...
Conservative Media

Satan Tells Limbaugh to ‘Fuck Off Out Of Here’

HELL -- Satan "Billy" Beelzebub does not want recently deceased radio host Rush Limbaugh...
Religion

Confused Evangelical Still Can’t Find Anti-Abortion Verses in Bible

CORNHOLE FALLS, IDAHO -- Chad McMichaels is a 36 year old devout, born again...
Pew Pew!

Obama Hopes Biden Remembers How to Take Everyone’s Guns, Jobs, and Bibles

UNDISCLOSED SHARIA COMMIE SOCIALIST BUNKER, SOROSLAND -- It's been four long years since Agenda...
Religion

Jesus H. Christ: “Joel Osteen is a Disgusting Capitalist Fuck Giblet”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Larry "God" Schumway and...
Religion

3 Ways to Tell If You’re in a Cult or Believe in a Vast Electoral Conspiracy Without Evidence For Another Reason

Are you in a cult? Before you answer that, stop and really think it over. MORE:...
Religion

5 Christmas Gifts That Will Help The Special Cultist In Your Life Process Losing an Election

Christmas is on the way, and the waterfowl are beginning to put on extra...
MAGA News

The Actual Jesus Christ Wrote This Letter to Kayleigh McEnany and Asked Us to Publish It For Him

The following was received by this outlet late last night. After contacting the offices...
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Latest articles

Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)