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Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are pretty much the same thing. I mean, if they weren't, wouldn't all the conservatives who were...raising alarms about the lack of free speech on college campuses be freaking out about...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

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History

President Says Constitution Signers Were ‘Never Trumpers’ Who Planned a Coup Against Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Just moments ago, President Donald J. Trump accused James Madison, Benjamin...
History

President Orders James Madison Arrested for Plotting Coup Against Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has issued a direct order to the Justice...
History

New York to Rename Public Toilet After Trump

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Perhaps to quiet a growing controversy, and make amends...
History

John Adams Once Called The King of England for Dirt on Thomas Jefferson

While the nation's political and governmental institutions grapple with an authentic constitutional crisis, debating...
History

President Pauses to Honor the Victims of 7/11

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump and Secondary First Lady Melania Trump...
History

Trump Was ‘On the Way’ to Help First Responders on 9/11, But Decided to Let Someone Else ‘Hog All the Glory’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Earlier this year, President Donald Trump signed permanent funding for 9/11...
History

Trump Says His ‘Guys’ Will Find Ark of The Covenant and Holy Grail Within First 100 Days if Re-Elected

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump has ordered that his administration mount an...
History

Only 12% of Trump Supporters Can Get Through All 15 Pictures of Constitutional Checks and Balances. Can You?

Recently, researchers at the Global Online Institute of Looking Into and Verifying Things conducted...
History

Navy Reveals Washington Won Its First “Top Flintlock” Trophy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Officials with the U.S. Navy have confirmed today that George Washington...
History

How and Why Benjamin Franklin Invented Overhead Storage Compartments

The stories of America's aviation and aeronautics contributions to humankind are of course legendary...
History

George Washington Ended a Terror Attack With a Solo Flight in His Stealth Bomber

For this week's installment of Unreal History, we present the story of when George...
History

Historians Unearth George Washington’s Pilot License

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Researchers at the national archives have uncovered a document linked to...
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Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)