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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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MAGA News

Priebus Warns Trump His Tweets Can Be Read By Supreme Court Justices Too

President Trump may not quite understand how Twitter works. Then again he's still figuring out how the toilet works.
MAGA News

Gorsuch Says He’s ‘Honored and Humbled’ To Have The ‘Full Faith and Confidence’ of the Kremlin

Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch told reporters that he is happy to be trusted by both of the presidents who had a hand in his selection.
MAGA News

Neil Gorsuch Promises To Interpret The Constitution ‘Fairly, For Corporate Citizens, Big and Small’

Newly minted Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch told reporters he's going to interpret laws in ways the look out for big and little corporate guys.
U.S. Politics

Neil Gorsuch Will Honor His Hero By Plagiarizing His First Supreme Court Opinion From Justice Scalia

Soon Judge Neil Gorsuch will be confirmed to the Supreme Court bench. He will honor his predecessor and mentor by copying his best work.
MAGA News

Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 12

You might think that "Make America Great Again" is just meaningless pabulum and not worth your time, but American Greatness can be measured.
MAGA News

D.C. Rumor: Donald Trump To Nominate Scott Baio To Supreme Court

For alleged actor Scott Baio, his allegiance to former reality-TV star and current President Donald Trump may pay real dividends soon.
Videos

“Donald Trump’s Supreme Court Shortlist”

Believe it or not Donald Trump gets to pick our next Supreme Court Justice, but who will he pick? We've got some ideas here.
Women's Rights

Texas Governor Greg Abbott Served Vaginal Eviction Notice

Greg Abbott is served papers.
Pew Pew!

Obama Offers to Trade SCOTUS Pick for Second Amendment

Obama reportedly has an offer for Mitch McConnell on his SCOTUS nomination.
U.S. Politics

Mitch McConnell Offers President Obama ‘Three-Fourths’ Compromise on SCOTUS Pick

Mitch McConnell offers Obama a compromise on Scalia's replacement.
MAGA News

Justice Clarence Thomas Tries to Throw Himself into Scalia’s Casket

Clarence Thomas tries to go meet Antonin Scalia's maker with him.
The Democrats

Obama Releases Shortlist of Scalia Replacements: All Muslim Americans

Obama releases a trial balloon list of Scalia replacements.
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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....

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