Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Why Aren’t Liberals Grateful to Live in the World’s Most Exceptional Shooting Range?

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and former NRA...

Tucker’s Putin Interview Was the Most Boring BJ Video I’ve Ever Seen on the Internet

"...in the interest of fairness, and admittedly settling a sense of...

If I Can’t Vote for a Monarch With Immunity, I Don’t Have Freedom, Do I?

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and author Dustin...

Tallahassee Pill Sees His Shadow and Will Have Four More Years of Not Being President

"He could still be president of his local chapter of the...

To Save Trump’s Business Empire, It’s Time to Hand Control to Taylor Swift

Clearly, nobody currently on Team Trump has any idea how to...

Our Whole Office Chipped-In and Got Ron DeSantis a Disney World Annual Pass to Cheer Him Up

When he rides "Pirates of the Caribbean," he may be off-put...

Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me I Had Fucking Presidential Immunity?!

The following editorial was written and submitted by former President and...

Call Me Old Fashioned, But Women Shouldn’t Be Dancing at Football Games

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator Dustin Pewpsin. The...