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Criminal Justice
Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?
"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
May 17, 2024
U.S. Politics
A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden
"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
May 15, 2024
Food and Dining
White Claw Reveals Its 7 Least Popular Flavors
Adult beverage maker White Claw has become quite popular over the last year or...
April 14, 2020
MAGA News
Trump Wonders If Doctors, Nurses Could’ve Saved As Many Lives Without His Own Dick In His Mouth
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If there's one thing Americans have learned about their dear president,...
April 14, 2020
The Democrats
Bernie Sanders to Send What’s Left of His Vocal Cords to Presidential Election Hall of Fame
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont will not be the Democratic Party's...
April 8, 2020
Science & Medicine
4 Ways to Tell If You Use the Word “Sheeple” Too Much
There are certain words in the English language that are categorically terrible, stupid, idiotic...
April 6, 2020
Conservative Media
Alex Jones Says Trump Administration Can Use Anti-Coronavirus Chemtrails to Protect Americans
CABEZA MIERDA SPRINGS, TEXAS -- Far-right shock jock Alex Jones went off on quite...
April 5, 2020
Religion
Pat Robertson Blames Coronavirus on 2015 Supreme Court Gay Marriage Decision
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- The United States Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage...
April 4, 2020
Science & Medicine
Confused Health Guru Contracts COVID-19 Despite Using His Best Turmeric Chakra Cleanse
KARMA VALLEY, OREGON -- 53-year-old self-described "health guru" Pat Kinnerson just got a confirmed,...
April 3, 2020
Religion
Jesus Sees Image of Potato Chip in Bathroom Mirror
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This weekend, Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Trinity, Inc's...
April 1, 2020
Lifestyle
Local Couple: Sex Was Really Good Until Husband Got Involved
DISAPPOINTMENT GULCH, ARIZONA -- In an interview with Couples Weekly, Tabitha and Mick Garrison...
March 31, 2020
Science & Medicine
CDC Says to Stop Licking Surfaces Clean Like Cats
ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Doctors at the Centers for Disease Control are strongly urging everyone...
March 30, 2020
Economy
Republican: Free College Plans Set America on a ‘Dangerous Path’ to Intelligent People
THIRD PINE, OHIO -- Senators Bernie Sanders and Liz Warren both have made the...
March 28, 2020
Science & Medicine
CDC Suggests Chronic Masturbators Replace Regular Lube With Hand Sanitizer
ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Doctors with the Centers for Disease Control issued new guidance this...
March 28, 2020
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Latest articles
Criminal Justice
Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?
"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
May 17, 2024
U.S. Politics
A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden
"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
May 15, 2024
Criminal Justice
I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels
"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
May 10, 2024
Criminal Justice
Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?
"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
May 8, 2024
