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I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
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Nation Grips Itself for Another Week Without a Presidential Golf Outing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For four years, if there was one thing Americans could come...

Illinois GOP Censures Abe Lincoln

STONEWALL, ILLINOIS -- The Illinois Republican Party has been on a censure-spree lately. This week,...

Single Term President Loses One More Vote Count and “Wins” Again

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When it comes to losing vote counts, there is no bigger...

Trump Impeachment Attorney: “If My Client Is Full Of Shit, You Must Acquit!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Michael Van der Veen, attorney representing former President Mushroomdong in his...

‘The Mandalorian’ Will Digitally Replace Gina Carano With AOC Wearing a Mask

BURBANK, CALIFORNIA -- It’s been a busy week for Disney Star Wars news, and today...

Gina Carano Sets Up OnlyNaziFans Account

HOLLYWOOB, CALIFORNIA -- This week, alleged actress and former human punching bag Gina Carano...

Impeachment Lawyers Will Show Senate Republicans the Jar Trump Keeps Their Balls In

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, the second impeachment trial of former President Donald J....

Gina Carano Identifies As Unemployed

HOLLYWOOB, CALIFORNIA -- Alt-right Nazi sympathizer, former human punching bag, and alleged actress Gina...

Babylon Bee Staff Identify as Comedians Though They Share Only One Joke Between Them

In practice, they're a cadre of Christofascists who wrap their theocratic beliefs in the...

Ivanka: “Why Would Daddy Excite an Erection When He Knows That’s My Job?”

LAKE PARIAH, FLORIDA -- Life after her father left the White House has been...

AOC Reiterates She’ll Never Fuck Anyone Who Writes For the Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- No matter how many attempts at satire they write at her...

Space Force Releases Initial Cost Estimate to Yeet Matt Gaetz Into The Sun

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The United States Space Force released a study this week that...

Latest articles

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...