Totally Bulls*it News

Can I File an Extension If I’m Not Ready to Control My Wife By January 20th?

I don't really want to go to jail because I couldn't figure out how to wrangle my wife's genitals into their holding pen before...

Man Ready to Forget About Mass Shootings For 24 Hours Before the Next Mass Shooting

One American is just looking for a break between mass shootings. So give him a day, would ya?

Rep. Trey Gowdy To Move Benghazi Hearings to Salem

Can one Republican get the Benghazi hearings moved to a venue more conducive to his tactics?

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #350

Was your piece part of Obama's Gun Confiscation this week?

Ben Carson Says He’d Have Attacked the Iceberg If He’d Have Been on the Titanic

Dr. Ben Carson would have made sure the Titanic tragedy ended completely differently, of course.

House Benghazi Committee Will Dunk Hillary in Water To See If She Floats

The Benghazi Committee is planning to use a bold, new tactic in getting to the bottom of things.

Carly Fiorina Tells Crowd She Once Delivered an 8-week Old Fetus AND IT LIVED!

Carly Fiorina reminds an audience she loves the unborn AND tall tales.

This Trash Fire Wants to Be Speaker of The House, But Can It Win?

Can one unusual entity come from obscurity to become the next Speaker of the House?

SCANDAL IN THE WHITE HOUSE: President Obama Admits He’s Only ‘Semi-Black’

Did Rupert Murdoch just blow the lid off another Obama scandal?

Man Whose Skin Tone Would Have Once Made Him Property Feels Some Humans Are More Valuable Than Others

Ben Carson, a black man, doesn't think some "lifestyles" are as valuable as others. Where have we heard that kind of talk before?