Totally Bulls*it News

Gaetz Out, Fogle In?

Upon hearing the news from his fellow inmates at Englewood Federal Correctional Institute in Englewood, Colorado that former Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) dropped out...

Trump: “Ain’t Nobody Stormin’ the Capitol If Nikki Haley Loses!”

Today, on Valentine's Day, former Gov. Nikki Haley (Q-SC) announced that...

Jesus Christ Wonders How Many Poor People You Can Feed for Two Super Bowl Ads

Today, Jesus Hubert Christ held his weekly heavenly press conference. One...

DeSantis Bans Talking About Super Bowl LVII Halftime Show in the Classroom

Singer Rihanna was the marquee star of yesterday's Super Bowl LVII...

Biden Promises to Brief Greene, Boebert on Downed Aircraft as Soon as They Can Spell “UFO”

Congresswomen Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) and Lauren Boebert (Low IQ, CO)...

Kari Lake Tells Newsmax She Can Prove The Eagles Actually Won Super Bowl LVII

In an interview this morning, certified election loser and Not Arizona's...

Why Does Matt Walsh Think About My Sons’ Dicks So Often?

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure that he has all kinds...

DeSantis: NASA Has to Rename Black Holes Because All Holes Matter in Florida

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is on a mission to de-woke his...

In New Harry Potter Game, Hogwarts is a Bible College With Matt Walsh as Headmaster

Fans of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter -- a multibillion...

DeSantis Wants $6 Billion to Build Bonfire Pits at Every Florida Library

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (Q) wants the state's legislature to give...