Totally Bulls*it News

Gaetz Out, Fogle In?

Upon hearing the news from his fellow inmates at Englewood Federal Correctional Institute in Englewood, Colorado that former Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) dropped out...

DeSantis Bans Minecraft Because ‘Kids Can Get Hoes’ In It

Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida has used much of his second...

QAnon Shaman Released From Prison Early and Sent to Halfwit House

Jacob Chansley, the self-appointed "QAnon Shaman" who helped storm the nation's...

Musk Unsure Whether to Skip Child Support or Twitter Loan Payment This Month

Recently, billionaire hair plug recipient Elon Musk revealed that he believes...

The Second Amendment Clearly Doesn’t Apply to People Whose Genitals I Haven’t Seen

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and podcaster Dustin...

Musk Wants to Charge $500 to Delete Twitter from Your Phone

In a sign that things might not be going so well...

After TN Christian School Shooting, NRA Wants Armed Gods in the Classroom

By now, most Americans have realized that mass shooting events at...

Who Got Paid More to Suck Trump’s Dick: Stormy or Jim Jordan?

As far as the world can tell, there are two people...

Thanks to Elon Musk, I’m Twitter’s New Official Barack Obama

The following open letter was submitted by right-wing commentator and podcaster,...

Ben Shapiro Shocked His Wife Has This In Common With Every Transgender Woman

"It turns out, I can't make any of their pussies wet...

Trump Confident All His Kids He Wants to Fuck Will Visit Him in Prison

"For starters, we'll probably end up in the same prison system,...