“We just figured one racist cunt could replace another and our audience would be none the wiser for it.” – Anonymous Fox News Source
The world of conservative media was rocked this morning when Fox News announced that it had parted ways with Grand Wizard Tucker Carlson. Mr. Carlson was one of the most prominent hosts on Fox News, but was also at the center of Dominion Voting Systems’ defamation suit against Fox, stemming from the deluge of lies and misinformation about the 2020 election that Carlson and other hosts amplified for weeks after Joe Biden was declared and certified the winner.
“We just figured one racist cunt could replace another and our audience would be none the wiser for it,” our source told us. “At this point, we’re not even sure it’s possible because we all assumed what everyone else does, that Stephen was spawned from a sewage treatment plant in Hell on the floor where Richard Nixon and Nancy Reagan share a condo. So if we do find the human woman who birthed Miller into existence, the job is hers. Until then, we’ll probably just hire Kid Rock to read KKK pamphlets in Tucker’s old time slot.”