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Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
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LGTBQ+

I’m in Florida. My Cousin’s in Tennessee. We’re Moving to TX to Protect Our Baby From Groomers.

The following editorial was submitted by Eddie Pesghetti, a 35 year old resident of...
LGTBQ+

Jesus Warns His Trans Little Children to ‘Stay the Fuck Away’ From the Bible Belt

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Larry "God" Schumway, and...
Religion

Pat Robertson: God Will Warm Texas If He Stops Watching “Magic Mike” for Research Purposes Twelve Times a Week

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Living fossil and televangelist Pat Robertson often speaks to God...
Business

Failing Capitalist State Still Struggling to Provide Heat and Power to Millions

THE CAPITALIST REPUBLIC OF TEXAS  -- In the failed capitalist state of Texas, millions...
Science & Medicine

Cold Texas Temperatures Signal It’s Time for Dodos to Fly South to Cancun

As it gets colder in the Lone Star State, its dodo population starts to...
Women's Rights

Oklahoma Man Extradited to Texas After Being Caught Spanking It in Dallas

GILEAD COUNTY, TEXAS -- Officials with the Texas State Sex Fluid and Biomatter Protection...
Science & Medicine

“Small Government” Governor Dictates to Private Companies What They Can Do About COVID-19

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- "Herp derp! Me small government conservative! Me hate socialism! Me want...
Women's Rights

Texas Woman Files for Joint Custody Over Boyfriend’s Sperm

BAWSAK, TEXAS -- When Gov. Greg Abbot (Q-Gilead) signed SB8 into law, many wondered...
The Bible Belt

TX Man Unsure Whether to Let Cousin Die From Complications or Sue Her For Getting Abortion

SHITLIP, TEXAS -- Bill Williamson has found himself in some rather unforeseen circumstances before,...
Business

Bleach and Coat Hangers Sold Out in 65% of Texas Counties

In well over half of the counties in Texas, consumers won't be able to...
Women's Rights

I’m From Texas. Can I Write Off My Sperm as Dependents Now?

Last week, when the Supreme Court effectively let a ban on abortions after the...
Pew Pew!

Texas Woman Files Paperwork to Reclassify Her Genitals as a Firearm

LIBTERTAD de CUERPA, TEXAS -- Next week, a court in Texas will hear opening...
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)