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Mitch McConnell

Lifestyle

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a...
Lifestyle

For Conservatives, Fart Naps Are Quickly Replacing Power Naps

"While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as...
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MAGA News

Senate Republicans Inserted Tax Cut Amendment That Dumps Six Million Dollars On Bob Corker’s Lawn Every Quarter

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With the hours ticking into minutes, ticking into moments before the...
MAGA News

Trump Seeks Putin’s Input on When He Should Sign Russia Sanctions Bill

With an overwhelmingly bipartisan sanctions bill just lingering on his desk, President Trump explains he needs input from a good friend.
Science & Medicine

Mitch McConnell Wonders If There Really Is A God If He Won’t Let Millions of People Lose Healthcare

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is in the middle of an epic existential crisis, feeling forsook by his lord and savior.
Economy

Mitch McConnell Prays For Jesus’ Guiding Hand To Rip Chemo Treatments Away from Kids With Cancer

Mitch McConnell has resorted to reaching out to a higher power in the pursuit of his dream -- ripping healthcare away from millions of Americans.
MAGA News

President Trump Asks Mitch McConnell To Change Senate Rules To Single Vote Threshold For Everything

After another harsh political defeat, Trump asks Mitch McConnell to change the Senate rules for him.
MAGA News

Trump Threatens To Stamp His Feet, Hold His Breath Until Congress Rips Healthcare From The Poor

Donald Trump knows that the fight over healthcare just needs his own unique brand of totally mature and nuanced negotiation.
MAGA News

Neil Gorsuch Promises To Interpret The Constitution ‘Fairly, For Corporate Citizens, Big and Small’

Newly minted Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch told reporters he's going to interpret laws in ways the look out for big and little corporate guys.
U.S. Politics

Neil Gorsuch Will Honor His Hero By Plagiarizing His First Supreme Court Opinion From Justice Scalia

Soon Judge Neil Gorsuch will be confirmed to the Supreme Court bench. He will honor his predecessor and mentor by copying his best work.
U.S. Politics

Merrick Garland Sends Neil Gorsuch Card Congratulating Him On Being Filibustered for the Supreme Court

Merrick Garland saw the filibuster of Neil Gorsuch as a milestone worthy of congratulations, and he sent the man who could get his seat a card.
The Democrats

Obama Says He’ll Sneak Into Homes And Rub “In God We Trust” Off Money Once He Leaves Office

The days of "In God We Trust" on our currency might be numbered, even after Obama leaves the White House.
MAGA News

Trump Will Ask Congress For Law Mandating He Gets To Take It All With Him

It may easier to thread the eye of the needle than for him to get into heaven, but Trump wants to get his riches through that eye too.
Economy

Paul Ryan Slams Obama’s ‘Socialist Assault’ On Economy As It Adds 255k New Jobs

Paul Ryan's skeptical of the 2016 July jobs numbers.
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Latest articles

Lifestyle

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a...
Lifestyle

For Conservatives, Fart Naps Are Quickly Replacing Power Naps

"While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as...
Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...

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