“Man, it’s really true what they say about Democrats. They’re snowflakes.”

We all know a few facts about American politics:

• It’s largely a two-party system
• We vote for presidents once every four years
• The popular vote doesn’t always decide the president
• Democrats started the KKK and are the actual, real racists

Undeniable, unassailable facts, aren’t they?

If you don’t believe me about the last one, just ask any MAGA hat wearing, chaw chewin’, red meat eating, ammo hoarding, good, clean, white Christian patriot and they’ll remind you. In fact, they may not know many other facts about Democrats, but they’ll always know Democrats started the KKK and they’re still the actual racist party. You can double-verify that by asking any Latinx Republican you can find before the rest of the Republicans have him deported.

Always trying to get to the bottom of things, and to highlight life in America in the times we live in, I decided to find out just how loyal the KKK is to Democrats and the Democratic agenda of equality and inclusion. So I set out to find a member of the klan who would talk to me about who they’re voting for.

Finally, after about two weeks of searching online,  I made contact with Chadwick Q. Beefington. He’s a member of the Ohio branch of the KKK. Chad agreed to meet me outside his local Southern Baptist church, where he was registering teenage girl’s vaginas for the state uterine catalog, and do a short interview with me about the election.

JAMES: Hi Chadwick.

CHADWICK Q. BEEFINGTON: Hi. But you don’t have to call me that, Grand Wizard Chad is fine enough.

JAMES: I think I’ll go with just, “Chad,” if that’s okay?

CHAD: It’s a free country despite what the libtarded Dems want to turn us into, ain’t it?

JAMES: It’s funny you mention the libtarded Dems, Chad. I was actually going to ask you just one question in this interview.

CHAD: Fire away.

JAMES: Well, given that the Klan was supposedly started by them, I can only assume, as a member, that you’re still a registered Democrat?

Chad’s fists started to instantly ball up. He wasn’t happy about this line of questioning.

CHAD: I don’t think I like where this line of questioning is going, but continue.

JAMES: Okay, well, put simply – are you going to vote for the leader of the Democratic Party, Joe Biden, for President of the United States, since you’re both card-carrying Democrats and –

Before I could get the question out and the mic into Chad’s face, he brought a fist into mine. As he ran away crying and calling me all kinds of slurs that referred to my Jewish heritage, I sat on the concrete, thinking to myself.

“Man, it’s really true what they say about Democrats. They’re snowflakes.”

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