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Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
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Economy

Jesus: “It’s Cute When Christians Think Bernie’s Too Socialist”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This morning during a heavenly press conference, Jesus Hubert...
Arts & Entertainment

Pat Robertson Reminds Christians They’ll Go To Hell for Loving Baby Yoda and Baby Jesus

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has a stern warning for Christians who...
Pew Pew!

Jesus Christ Reminds Americans Thoughts and Prayers Aren’t Made of Kevlar

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This morning, the Executive Vice-President of Holy Trinity Inc....
Conservative Media

New Policy Dictates Babylon Bee Staff Crucify Themselves Daily in Front of Snopes Headquarters

The editors of The Babylon Bee -- a Christian Dominionist publication that uses alleged humor and...
Women's Rights

Fully Aroused Mike Pence Just Staring at Maps of Alabama, Georgia, Ohio, and Missouri

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Vice President Mike Pence has spent the last 36 solid hours...
Science & Medicine

27 People Missing & Presumed Dead in Flat Earth Expedition

Ushuaia, Argentina -- 24 flat earth researchers and 3 crew members have been out of...
LGTBQ+

Study Confirms Mike Pence Thinks About LGTBQ Stuff More Than People Participating In LGTBQ Stuff

BONTÉ FALLS, WEST VIRGINIA -- Researchers in West Virginia recently published the results of a...
Arts & Entertainment

Kirk Cameron Renounces Faith; Ready To ‘Start Picking Up All That Sweet Growing Pains P**n.’

In the 1980s, Kirk Cameron was one of the hottest young stars in Hollywood. Cameron...
MAGA News

Trump Supporter To Take Pipe Bombs, Shoulder-Fired RPG To Vatican For Pope’s Blessing

HOBART, ARKANSAS -- Clem O'Connell bills himself as "the biggest Second Amendment defender west...
Pew Pew!

God to Americans: “Your Kids Are Making It Here Faster Than Your Thoughts And Prayers”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This morning, Larry "God" Schumway held a press conference...
Religion

God Wonders How Joel Osteen Failed At Flood Response Because He’s a Christian

Televangelist Joel Osteen kept his megachurch shut to victims of Hurricane Harvey for a short time, and that made God pretty mad.
MAGA News

Preacher Who Prayed With Trump Wakes Up With Third Degree Hand Burns

Reverend Malloy recently "laid hands" on President Trump, and has burns on his hands to prove it.
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

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