Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Biden Tells Engineers They Can Reinstall White House Ramps and Stairs Now

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden has authorized White House engineers...

Native Spends Columbus Day Telling Americans to Go Back Where They Came From

FALLBROOK, CALIFORNIA -- Tommy Curro, a member of the Pala Native...

Trump: “Ashli Babbitt Was the Hottest Nazi Babe I’ve Seen Since My Own Ivanka”

This weekend, former one term, twice forever impeached President Donald J....

New Texas Law Prevents Women From Taking Laxatives Before 9 Months of Constipation

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- This week, a federal judge temporarily blocked Texas'...

Documents Reveal AT&T is a Major Financial Backer of KlanTV

DALLAS, TEXAS -- From its inception, One American News Network --...

Man Outraged FBI Called Him About Death Threat He Issued to Son’s Third Grade Teacher

LOS TERRORISTAS BLANCOS, CALIFORNIA -- Many Americans who live in other...

Trump’s Already Got His 2024 Slogan

LAKE MORON, FLORIDA -- Though he won't need to make a...

Donald Trump Wins Not Just One, But Two Nobel Prizes

OSLO, NORWAY -- It finally happened. This morning, after years of openly...

Cruz Suggests Haitian Refugees at Border Should ‘Check Out Cancun Instead’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A recent surge in Haitian refugees on the...

Pence Says He’s Forgiven Trump for Jan 6th Because ‘Jesus Said to Spread the Other Cheek’

MOSES HILLS, INDIANA -- Speaking before a packed, maskless congregation at...