Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Tillerson Corrects the Record: ‘I Called Him an Incompetent, Batshit Crazy, Tiny Handed, Thin Orange Skinned, Miscreant and Moron’

Tensions between President Donald Trump and his Secretary of State Rex Tillerson have reached a new high, and Tillerson wants the truth out there.

Republican Cancer Patient Tries to Pay His Chemo Bills With His Second Amendment Rights

When he was diagnosed with cancer and didn't have "communist" Obamacare subsidized health insurance, this man proposed a new bargain with the hospital.

Trump Supporter Recovering From Honeymoon Groin Injuries After Marrying AR-15

When Clem O'Connell married his darling AR-15, he thought he'd be in for a lifetime of happiness. But his honeymoon turned quickly disastrous.

Senate GOP Eyes Tightening Proposed 20-Week Abortion Ban to ‘As Soon As The Goo Comes Out Of You’

For some Republicans, a 20-week abortion ban is nowhere near short enough. Some want to set the legal line of demarcation much, much earlier.

Friend of Las Vegas Shooting Victim Calls Bill O’Reilly The ‘Price of Not Being Allowed To Punch Douchebags In The Dick”

Former Fox News host and current sexual predator Bill O'Reilly says that mass shootings are "the price of freedom," and this guy calls BS.

God Tells Pat Robertson: No One Respects Trump ‘So Shut Up You Doddering Douche’

Televangelist Pat Robertson believes God punished America for disrespecting Trump by allowing the Las Vegas shooting to happen. God disagrees.

Trumper Confused Where Paddock Got His Guns From Since Obama Took Them All

Las Vegas shooter Stephen Paddock had an arsenal at his disposal. But one right-wing podcaster thinks Barack Obama might be to be blame.

Republican Unsure He Should Be Proud His Policies Enabled ‘Libtard Cuck Killer’ Stephen Paddock

Stephen Paddock, the shooter in the Las Vegas massacre, was able to obtain his firearms thanks in part to policies advocated by the GOP for years.

Open Carry Activist Shoots Himself, Stops Potential Shooting Incident

An advocate of open carry gun laws tells a harrowing story of stopping a potentially dangerous shooter all by himself.

Wayne LaPierre: ‘What Happened in Vegas Should Stay In Vegas and Not Be Talked About Anywhere Else, Ever Again’

The NRA's top spokesman, Wayne LaPierre, admonishes Americans to not think about doing anything rash in the wake of the Las Vegas shooting.