Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Conservative Startup Offering ‘Yuge’ Reward For Trading In Race, Gender, Sexual Identity Cards

National Nativism and Ammo, a new startup Bible and Constitution printing...

Trump Honors Tuskegee Airmen And Calls Obama “The Previous White House Ni**er”

"I didn't know you guys liked to fly; thought it was one of those things like swimming with you?"

Town Pervert Hopes To Get Trump’s Endorsement One Day

"If he's gonna go around endorsing perverts, I wanted to get in line."

Area Moron Turns Off 24/7 Uranium One Coverage, Explains Why Trump Is Right: Everyone Except Fox News Is Fake

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and his hometown's favorite...

Man Who Got C’s In English Demands Immigrants ‘Speak American’ or Go Home

HOBART, ARKANSAS -- Back in high school, Clem O'Connell was not...

Trump: “The Access Hollywood Tape Is As Real As My First Lady’s Orgasms”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a surprising development, President Donald Trump has...

Local Mouth Breather Thinks Egypt Should Implement Trump’s Muslim Ban After Mosque Attack

"Clearly what the cucks don't want us to see is that Muslim bans work."

You’ve Never Met Donald Trump’s Girlfriend, Okay? She Doesn’t Go To School Here.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today President Trump continued his escalating war of...