White House Announces Donald Jr. As Turkey To Be Pardoned

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THE WHITE HOUSE — Speaking to reporters earlier today about the arrangements for this year’s Thanksgiving turkey pardoning, a White House spokesperson confirmed that the turkey to be pardoned this year is son of the President, Donald Trump Jr.

Explaining the decision, the White House spokesperson told reporters, “As we know, every year the President pardons one deserving turkey at Thanksgiving, and this year, after careful consideration, Mr Trump has decided he will be pardoning Donald Jr, who as we know, is having a rough year.”

Further explanation was provided in a series of Tweets by the President this morning;

Discussing the decision earlier today on Fox & Friends were the shows regular hosts, Steve Doocy, Ainsley Earhardt and Brian Kilmeade.

“Now it’s that time of year again, that’s right, it’s Thanksgiving, and today the White House announced which Turkey they will be pardoning,” Doocy said.

“I’ve heard that it’s none other than Donald Trump Jr,” Earhardt said to her colleagues. “Certainly a deserving turkey in my mind, Steve.”

“That he is Ainsley, that he is.”

Not wanting to miss the opportunity to make his point, Kilmeade added, “I don’t know why we eat turkeys at Thanksgiving, it seems cruel. I once went on holiday to Turkey and they are really actually very nice people.”

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