Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

President Trump Narrowly Averts the Crisis of Telling Mexico He Was Putting a Gun Up to His Own Head

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At this hour, the Secret Service is reporting...

Trump Gets Terrible Case of Freedom Gas and Blames Farts On Sarah Huckabee Sanders

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump ate "way, way, way too...

Mike Pence Orders All Pride Flags Moved From U.S. Embassies and Into His Den of Sin Where They Belong

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- June is "Pride Month" in the LGTBQ community,...

Alabama Republicans Hold Citizenship Ceremony for ‘Fetal Americans’

INBRED MOUNTAIN, ALABAMA -- Republicans in Alabama held a special ceremony...

President’s Plane Rechristened “Air Force Individual-1”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's aircraft has been officially rechristened. "Because...

Trump Economic Adviser: Eliminating Minimum Wage Will Result in 0% Unemployment

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The man who will potentially take over for...

Tennessee State House Passes Law Banning Abortion If Your Mother Was Ever Pregnant

SOEUR PLAISIR VALLEY, TENNESSEE -- Republicans in the Volunteer state have...

President Trump Threatens to Sue ‘Any American’ That Doesn’t Vote to Re-Elect Him

Not going to vote for Donald Trump? Consider yourself sued.

Donald Trump Jr. To Undergo Plastic Surgery For Rare Facial Condition

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The president's son will be undergoing...

Trump Appoints David Avocado Wolfe FDA High Wizard Chieftain of Raw Foods and Woo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though his cabinet has been fully confirmed, President...