Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Man Growing Tired of Covid-19 Restrictions He Doesn’t Really Follow Anyway

LAKE IGNORANCE, MICHIGAN-- Gerald Ricci is sick to death of his...

Patriot Loves America So Much He’d Murder More Than Half Its Citizens Because They Voted for Biden

PINCHLOAF, MISSOURI -- Capt Col. Major General Private Scott Palumbo's rank...

Breaking: Joe Biden Is Still Your Next President

In a completely foreseen and very precedented development, former Vice President...

Do We Live in America Anymore If There Aren’t Any Racist Team Mascots?

This week, the Cleveland Indians, one of Major League Baseball's longest...

Op-Ed: I’ve Waited 17 Years for Proof Iraq Had WMD. I Can Wait Forever For Proof Biden Cheated.

The following is an editorial submitted to this publication by Dustin...

McEnany Reportedly in Talks to Join New Administration

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The chips have all fallen into place, and...

Last Week, Ted Cruz Met With Trump’s Balls for a Supreme Court Argument Strategy Sesh

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Supreme Court of the United States will...

Stephen Miller Plans to Go from Working at the White House to Working at a White Castle

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whenever a presidential administration comes to a close,...