James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
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Mike Pence: “I Will Not Testify, But Please Keep Waving Your Subpoenas In My Face!”

While speaking to a convention of pro-life stay-at-home moms this weekend, former Vice President...

Hawley Proposes Banning Kids from Social Media Until They’ve Dated Matt Gaetz

Sen. Josh Hawley (Q-MO), who is the current record holder in the 200-yard dash...

Trump: “Ain’t Nobody Stormin’ the Capitol If Nikki Haley Loses!”

Today, on Valentine's Day, former Gov. Nikki Haley (Q-SC) announced that she was officially...

Jesus Christ Wonders How Many Poor People You Can Feed for Two Super Bowl Ads

Today, Jesus Hubert Christ held his weekly heavenly press conference. One reporter asked the...

DeSantis Bans Talking About Super Bowl LVII Halftime Show in the Classroom

Singer Rihanna was the marquee star of yesterday's Super Bowl LVII halftime show. During...

Biden Promises to Brief Greene, Boebert on Downed Aircraft as Soon as They Can Spell “UFO”

Congresswomen Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) and Lauren Boebert (Low IQ, CO) are demanding that...

Kari Lake Tells Newsmax She Can Prove The Eagles Actually Won Super Bowl LVII

In an interview this morning, certified election loser and Not Arizona's Governor Kari Lake...

Why Does Matt Walsh Think About My Sons’ Dicks So Often?

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure that he has all kinds of very valid...

Unhinged Karen Spends Taxpayer Dollars Speaking to the Ex-Manager About Her Twitter Account

The average hourly salary of a member of the U.S. House of Representatives is...

DeSantis: NASA Has to Rename Black Holes Because All Holes Matter in Florida

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is on a mission to de-woke his state. During his terms...

In New Harry Potter Game, Hogwarts is a Bible College With Matt Walsh as Headmaster

Fans of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter -- a multibillion dollar franchise that...

DeSantis Wants $6 Billion to Build Bonfire Pits at Every Florida Library

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (Q) wants the state's legislature to give his administration $6...

Latest articles

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...