5 Reasons No One Listens To John McCain About Anything Anymore

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During the whole “Filibuster a Secretary of Defense Nomination During War Time” debacle/clusterfuck, I came to the realization that John McCain now has absolutely zero credibility. He’s not the maverick Republican Senator who followed his conscience and logic ahead of political dogma anymore. He’s not the semi-rational voice of the Republican party anymore. He’s a blithering, red meat throwing buffoon. For some odd reason the GOP looks to him as their compass for foreign policy matters, but they really shouldn’t. It’s like trusting Lindsay Lohan to guard your stash of cocaine.

McCain’s erratic behavior — kvetching about not getting answers from the White House while skipping his intelligence briefing; that kind of shit — has made him a tired, old relic. Upon further examination, we were able to narrow down five key reasons he’s given the American people to ignore him, and here they are.

5. Sarah Palin

Let’s get one thing straight: Sarah Palin was John McCain’s choice to be his Vice-President. That means that John McCain not only felt like Palin was qualified to be the second most powerful person in the country, he thought she could be the most powerful person in the world. Think of all the really stupid and inane shit that has come out of that woman’s mouth since the time she was announced as McCain’s pick to this very day.

Yeah. Let it sink in…

Now, that’s the woman McCain thought should be literally a missed heartbeat away from the Oval Office. So why exactly are we thinking his opinion is even remotely worth listening to again?

4. Sarah Palin

Oh, you thought it would be a few quick sentences on the dumbest person in American politics ever and that’d be it? Pffffft. This woman said she was an expert on foreign relations because Alaska and Russia share a maritime border. This woman said she reads “all of them” when asked a simple question of “Which newspapers do you read?” This woman was so toxically stupid that her nomination tanked the ticket with weeks to go. Palin was immediately seen as a bad mistake by a desperate campaign. McCain could have picked a sock puppet and had a better chance. I mean literally putting a sock on his wrinkled fingers and calling it “Veepy” would have been a better move than selecting the bespectacled dunce from the Frozen North.

3. Sarah Palin

Yes. I do have an ax grind. Why? Because I still see comments from Teapublicans all over the Internet defending Palin. I see Tea Party faithful saying that what their party needs a resurfacing of Sarah. They say that she got a bad wrap, that the evil liberal media crucified her early but that she’s got what it takes to restore the GOP to its former glory. Of course, even the party’s propaganda arm  — Fox News — has sold all their stock in Palin, Inc., dropping the vapid twit on her ass after offering her a heavily-reduced contract.

2. Sarah Palin

I’m not being hyperbolic. I promise.

1. The Iraq War/Sarah Palin Tied

Okay, so there really are a plethora of reasons you can just outright ignore McCain, and they have nothing to do with Sarah Palin. McCain is a relic. An absolute dinosaur on foreign policy. If the first response isn’t “bomb the fuck outta them!” Senator McCain apparently doesn’t think the response is worth giving at all. But never was his need to move on from the decision-making process in matters of foreign relations than when he grilled now Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel during his confirmation hearing. McCain was just beside himself that Hagel — a Republican no less! — would hold a negative opinion not just of the Iraqi troop surge, but of the Iraq War in general.

McCain apparently is blissfully unaware that the overwhelming majority of Americans, as well as people around the world, view the Iraq War as a colossal blunder. It was a war sold on lies, built to feed a personal vendetta from the previous Bush administration. It was a war that did nothing but cost us trillions of dollars and thousands of lives. In exchange Halliburton got richer, and the world get an even more bitter taste in their mouth after American intervention. Someone needs to gently nudge McCain out of the door; he may never get that Iraq was the worst mistake made since Vietnam. But that doesn’t really matter now; anyone who can’t see that particular truth has no business in Washington, D.C.

And even if that weren’t all true, at the end of the day, he’d still be the doddering old fool who thought a vacuous political neophyte whose only political assets are that conservative men want to fuck her was qualified to lead our country. Compare Hillary Clinton or Liz Warren to Sarah Palin. Then tell me McCain’s not a fool. A damned fool and one whose time has finally come.

Whether he knows or admits it or not.


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