Ted Cruz Wants to Know Whether He Can Identify as a Man If He Gets His Balls Back From Trump

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If his recent actions are to be taken at face value, it would appear that Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) may be going through a time of inner-reflection and self-discovery, and that his introspection may have led him to question his own gender identity. Twice now in the last few days Cruz has publicly asked questions that seem to indicate he’s thinking about changing, or at least re-affirming, his gender identity.

During an odd exchange with Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson this week, Cruz asked if he — a Hispanic male — could identify as an Asian female if he wanted to. Judge Jackson declined to answer the question, telling the Texan/Canadian Republican that if a case were in front of her regarding gender identity issues, she’d defer to biologists. That moment went viral on social and legacy media, but an interview Cruz did with Fox News this morning may overshadow it.

MORE: Ted Cruz Asks Jackson Why She Helped George Soros Create CRT

Sen. Cruz told the Fox automaton hosts that he is “shocked” and “blown away” that progressives “can’t and won’t define what a woman is.” Cruz lambasted Democrats for “pushing Critical Gender Theory on America’s kids” and then asked an eyebrow raising question.

“This is all a lot of silliness and nonsense that goes against the most important and only science book you’ll ever need — The Holy Bible. Hopefully The New King Donald Edition,” Cruz said. “All their woke activism and cultural Marxism leaves me asking a simple question that none of them seem to be able to answer. So I’ll just ask it now, and hopefully someone can help me answer it: Can I identify as a man if Donald Trump gives my balls back to me?”

None of the hosts seemed to be able to answer Cruz’s questions, but one asked him to clarify what he meant.

“Well, you see, back in 2016 Donald Trump took my balls from me in a very public way. First, he called my wife, Heidi, ugly. Then, I campaigned for him after he defeated me in the primary. It was when I made my first phone call on behalf of his campaign that I felt my balls literally leave my body. Then, I watched them float, in mid-air, and come to a rest on Trump’s desk,” Cruz said. “He’s held onto to them, he says for safe keeping, ever since. I’m starting to think I’m never getting my balls back, and that just has me curious if, by Woketopian Leftist standards that means I’m not a man anymore.”

Once more, the Fox hosts were unable to answer Cruz’s questions, so they thanked him for coming on the show and went to commercial.

RELATED: Data Suggests Literally Nobody Gives a Fuck What Ted Cruz Thinks About Anything


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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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