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Ted Cruz

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a...

For Conservatives, Fart Naps Are Quickly Replacing Power Naps

"While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as...
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Cruz Says He’ll Be Trump’s Prison Bitch If No One Else Will

Senator Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) has taken to social media in the last few days...

Legal Experts Sharply Divided on Whether Trump Will Get Conjugal Visits With Ivanka

As the country braces for a potential arrest of former President Donald Trump, a...

Heidi Cruz Asks Trump For Ted’s Balls Back So He Can Suntan Them

Fox News host, and White Nationalist Magazine's "Nazi Cuntwhistle of the Year" for fifteen...

Cruz Says He Helped Plan Eastman’s Coup Because “Someone Laced Trump’s Taint With Roofies”

Yesterday, a federal judge ruled that Trump loyalist and lawyer John Eastman could not...

Ted Cruz Wants to Know Whether He Can Identify as a Man If He Gets His Balls Back From Trump

If his recent actions are to be taken at face value, it would appear...

Judge Jackson Regrets Not Pre-Insulting Heidi Cruz’s Looks

Now that her confirmation hearings have come to a close, sources say that Judge...

Ted Cruz Asks Jackson Why She Helped George Soros Create CRT And If Benghazi Was Involved

Things once more got extremely heated today when Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) questioned Supreme...

Ted Cruz: “Did Biden Forget Real Presidents Only Use the State of the Union to S Their Own D?”

Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) was not a fan of President Joe Biden's first State...

Cruz: “Does Joe Biden Really Plan to Go Four Years Not Rage Tweeting About Cable News Ratings?”

An angry Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) took to the Senate floor today and blasted...

CDC Says It’s Now Safe to Remove Your Mask In Order Tell Ted Cruz to Fuck Himself

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for Disease Control has issued the following update to...

Failing Capitalist State Still Struggling to Provide Heat and Power to Millions

THE CAPITALIST REPUBLIC OF TEXAS  -- In the failed capitalist state of Texas, millions...

Cold Texas Temperatures Signal It’s Time for Dodos to Fly South to Cancun

As it gets colder in the Lone Star State, its dodo population starts to...

Latest articles

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a...

For Conservatives, Fart Naps Are Quickly Replacing Power Naps

"While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as...

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...