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Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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7 Fun Ways to Avoid Selling Your Kids to the Circus During Their School’s Coronavirus Quarantine

All across the country, schools are closing down in order to slow the rate...

Update: There Are Still LEGO On The Goddamned Floor

EL PIESANGRIENTO, CALIFORNIA -- Sources are confirming at the time of publications that, despite...

Toddler Doesn’t Give a Fuck

LINCOLN, INDIANA -- He doesn't give a fuck.  He doesn't give a fuck what you...

Local Man Not Sure He’ll Get a Return on All the Money He Invested in His Son

CARMEL VALLEY RANCH, CALIFORNIA -- He never expected to recoup every single cent he...

Parenting Study: Kids Will Probably Be A-Holes Regardless of What You Do

A new study published in the  North American Pediatric Psychology Review seems to indicate...

Parents Admit Middle Child Neither of Their Favorite

WHISTLER'S COB, IDAHO -- Jack and Mary Beth Scoggins absolutely love their three children,...

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Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....