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Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
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Sports

Olympic Swimmer Not Kicked Off Team After Showing to Up Practice Drunk

LAKE HOOCH, FLORIDA -- 27-year-old Olympic swimmer Ryan McGee will not be kicked off...
Lifestyle

Man and Weed Dealer Have Agreement Not to Discuss Politics

LOS BURRITOS MOJADOS, CALIFORNIA -- Every couple of weeks, 40 year old computer programmer...
The War on Drugs

Is Weed Really Safe? Man Smokes Pot, Suffers Lava Burns 36 Hours Later

How safe is legal weed if you can smoke some literally days later get into an accident?
The War on Drugs

Cannabis Overdoses Multiplied By Over 1,000,000% in 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The National Institute of Drug Policy and Research teamed up with...
The War on Drugs

Marijuana Overdoses Multiplied By Over 1,000,000% Last Year

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The National Institute of Drug Policy and Research teamed up with...
Science & Medicine

Surgeon General: Teens and Pregnant Women Should Avoid Cannabis and Driving Cars Off Bridges

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Surgeon General issued a warning to Americans this week, urging...
MAGA News

Emergency Crews Working To Remove Jeff Sessions From Package of E.L. Fudge Cookies

When an accident occurred at the Keebler cookie company, Attorney Jeff Sessions needed some quick rescuing.
Arts & Entertainment

Jeff Sessions Says Spike Lee Should Be Arrested for Making Joints, Not Given Awards

WHITE HOOD, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions was stopped outside his favorite...
The War on Drugs

Jeff Sessions Can Finally Unwind, Smoke a Doob, and Forget About Persecuting Brown People Awhile

GREEN FIELD SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA -- Just after former Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced his...
Business

Musk Invests $10 Million in Startup Bong Company

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Elon Musk made major headlines when he appeared on...
Science & Medicine

He Smoked Three Marijuana Cigarettes And STILL Couldn’t Shake The Feeling Life Is A Meaningless Series Of Tragedies Until You Die

SAND CASTLE SHORES, IDAHO -- Terry Bonner lives in a state that has yet...
History

Historians Discover George Washington’s Long Lost Weed Stash

FREDERICKSBERG, VIRGINIA -- In an extremely unforeseen development, President George Washington's personal cache of...
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)