Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Man Apologizes for Losing Track of His Dick Long Enough for It to Become Fox News Host

BALLCRUST VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- It's a time in his life Jack...

Golden Corral Taps Tucker Carlson to Promote “Patriot Binge and Purge” Loyalty Program

This week, Fox News will begin airing a docuseries produced by...

No Matter What, I Back the Blue. Until I Beat Them With a Flagpole During an Insurrection.

The following editorial was submitted by State Rep. Tom Thompaulsen (R)....

We Corrected All of Trump’s Lies in His Wall Street Journal Letter to the Editor

Yesterday, Rupert Murdoch's print version of Fox News, The Wall Street Journal, published...

Trump: The Houston Astros Really Won Game 1 of the World Series

FARTS-A-LOT-THOUGH, FLORIDA -- Last night, according to the scoreboard, the Houston...

Experts Weigh-In: Will Your 10 Year Old’s 5G Reception Improve After Getting the COVID-19 Vaccine?

Yesterday, an FDA panel voted unanimously to recommend authorization of the...

Judge: Prosecutors Can Only Call Rittenhouse a ‘Sweet White Boy Who Went Pew-Pew on Accident’

The judge presiding over the trial of accused murderous white nationalist...

8 Things Ted Cruz Has Defended More Rigorously Than His Own Wife

There are few men who are considered braver, or even as...

Anti-Condom Protesters Storm Porn Set and Demand Actor Be Allowed to Raw Dog Co-Stars

SLAM FERNANDO VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A group of angry protesters, insisting...