Totally Bulls*it News

Gaetz Out, Fogle In?

Upon hearing the news from his fellow inmates at Englewood Federal Correctional Institute in Englewood, Colorado that former Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) dropped out...

“Why I Should Be President” by Senator Ted Cruz

Read why Senator Ted Cruz thinks you should elect him next year.

Ted Cruz: ‘Okay, I Admit It, I Don’t Know F*ck-All About NASA, Space, Climate, or Science!’

Sen. Ted Cruz just admitted he doesn't know anything about the subjects the committee he runs are about. But he also doesn't give an eff if you know that anymore.

Obama’s Voting Proposal Outrages Another 12% of Americans Into Possibly Voting

A new poll shows President Obama's compulsory voting idea has inspired another 12% of Americans to maybe, possibly vote next time around.

Dick Cheney: ‘I Criticize Obama Out of Total Hypocrisy, Not Racism!’

Former Vice-President Dick Cheney wants the world to know he's just a hypocrite, not a racist.

Country That Spent $6T Killing People Sad It Wasted $125B Trying to Help People

Nothing irks some Americans more than government government waste. Spending $6T to kill people is fine, but accidentally spending less than 5% of that is not cool.

McConnell: Legislating Vaginae Takes Precedence Over Ending Slavery

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has vowed to stall Loretta Lynch's confirmation as Attorney General over Democrats' hardline stance on anti-abortion language in another bill.

House GOP Gives New ‘Scandal’ Official Title: Hillmailghazigate

Hillary Clinton's emails will now be the subject of an official Republican-branded scandal investigation.

Rudy Giuliani Says Darth Vader Should Be Commended for Hunting Down, Murdering Jedi

Rudy Giuliani believes in the rule of law so much he doesn't care if officers break it.

Authorities Considering Charges Against Darren Wilson for Killing Ferguson PD’s Racket

Ferguson PD wants to file charges against former Officer Darren Wilson for "killing" their racket.

House Republicans To Sneak Giving Obama ‘Brown Musket’ Into Jobs Bill

Will House Republicans get language inserted in a jobs bill allowing them to blow dirty wind in Obama's face whenever they want?