Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

Totally Bulls*it News James Schlarmann -
"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...
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Totally Bulls*it News

Huckabee: ‘Criminalization Of Christianity is Coming. Just Ask Joel Osteen, Rick Warren, Pat Robertson…’

Mike Huckabee thinks once the gays can get married, it'll be open season on religion in a country with a clause in its constitution expressly forbidding laws against religion.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Conservative Americans Wait Breathlessly for Word on Whether They Have to Stop Being Assholes Now

Does the federal government protecting gay marriage mean the end of an era for America's assholes?
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Some Americans Outraged Humans Once Treated as Property Outraged Enough To Destroy Non-Human Property

The Political Garbage Chute sent reporters out in the field to get various Americans' reactions to the Baltimore riots.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Mississippi Pastor: ‘We’re Bracing for the Nightmare of Adults Loving Other Adults!’

Gay marriage will bring about terrible things like love and compassion, according to one Mississippi man of the cloth.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

“My Own Personal Thoughts on the Iran Nuke Deal” by George W. Bush (and Dick Cheney)

An essay on George W. Bush's own personal beliefs on the Iran nuclear deal, co-written by Dick Cheney.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

New Scientific Study: Ted Cruz Thinks About Butt Sex More Than People Having Butt Sex

Just how much does Ted Cruz think about butt sex? Some folks in West Virginia tried to quantify it.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ghost of Yemeni Civilian Drone Victim: ‘Obama’s Apology to Me Must Be Lost In The Mail Somewhere’

A civilian casualty in a 2013 American drone strike speaks about Obama's apology for a botched drone strike that left Americans dead.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Alabama Republican: ‘We Don’t Mind If You Smoke Pot, Just Don’t Smoke Pole Later’

The state senate in Alabama just moved one step closer to bringing more freedom to adults, just not the freedom to love whoever the hell you want to love is all.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Michele Bachmann: “Obama Brought On the Rapture, My IBS”

Besides the rapture, what else does Michele Bachmann blame Obama for?
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

5 Reporters Weigh-In On What Hillary’s Post-Chipotle Burrito Farts Smelled Like

Hillary Clinton made waves by ordering a burrito, but what about the aftermath of said burrito?
James Schlarmann -
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