Totally Bulls*it News

Can I File an Extension If I’m Not Ready to Control My Wife By January 20th?

I don't really want to go to jail because I couldn't figure out how to wrangle my wife's genitals into their holding pen before...

McConnell Warns Democrats Not to Change the Filibuster Like He Changed the Filibuster

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In order to push Supreme Court Justice Neil...

Don’t Worry! You Can Still Follow MTG on Twitter for Horses.

These days, it can be really difficult to find a consistent...

Ivanka’s ‘Getting Used to Having Daddy’s Subpoenas’ Waved In Her Face

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The New York Attorney General has...

Bill Clinton’s MasterClass Will Teach “Fingering the Right Person for the Job”

Last month, online adult education provider Masterclass announced that it had...

Twitter: MTG Is Allowed One Account Per IQ Point

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Last week, Twitter made headlines when...

Madison Cawthorn Grows Spine, Walks Out on Wife

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Claiming irreconcilable differences, North Carolina Congressman Madison Cawthorn, after...

Manchin: “West Virginia Kids Told Me They Want to Breathe Dirty Air in a Broke, Disgusting State”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite polling data that shows voters in his...

Pro-Life Republican Can’t Wait to Get His Picture Taken With Double Murderer

SHITDICK FLATS, ILLINOIS -- 42 year old non-union, out of work...