Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Spotify: Future Episodes of Joe Rogan Podcast Will Be Vetted by Dr. Alexander Jones

Streaming platform Spotify announced this afternoon that it was taking "immediate...

Trump Promised Rally Crowd: MAGA Will ‘Avenge General Lee and Actually Win the Next Civil War’

CONROE, TEXAS -- This weekend, one-term, twice permanently impeached, defeated former...

Boebert: “The Free Market is Full of Commies Censoring Conservatives!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Speaking in the nation's capital at a prayer...

Stupidfuck Promises to Pardon Dumbfucks Who Attempted Idiotic Coup on His Behalf

This weekend, a defeated former president and confirmed stupidfuck -- who...

Cruz: Weak Biden Won’t Nominate Functioning Alcoholic Who Can’t Recall Their Attempted Rapes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- No matter who President Joe Biden selects to...

Obama Tells Biden He Can ‘Think of One Black Woman With a Law Degree’ to Replace Breyer

President Joe Biden is currently conducting a search for someone to...

Joe Rogan Will Re-Record Neil Young’s Catalogue, But Needs Mic Stand Lowered Four Feet First

CHEMTRAIL FALLS, TEXAS -- Podcaster Joe Rogan has been asked to...

If We Can’t Fantasize Sexually About the Green M&M or Minnie Mouse, the Commies Already Won

The following editorial was written and submitted to The Political Garbage Chute by...