Cruz: Weak Biden Won’t Nominate Functioning Alcoholic Who Can’t Recall Their Attempted Rapes

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — No matter who President Joe Biden selects to replace outgoing Justice Stephen Breyer, Sen. Ted Cruz has pledged to “fight tooth and booger” to derail their nomination. This morning, speaking on Fox News, Cruz outlined why he “stands diametrically opposed to any Woketopian extreme commie socialist liberal” that Biden puts forth.

“It’s simple — Biden is weak. He’s a weak, coward. I bet that if a man insulted his wife’s looks, in public, he wouldn’t even have the courage to lick that man’s balls for the rest of his life,” Cruz laughed.

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“So if Biden’s too weak on that front, imagine how weak he is when picking a Supreme Court justice! He probably wouldn’t have the strength, courage, or character to nominate a functioning alcoholic who loves beer and can’t remember all his attempted rapes. Which, by the way, I’d like one Soros-backed Democrap libtard to tell me where the Constitution says you HAVE to remember all the times you tried to rape someone to be a Supreme Court Justice. It’ AIN’T in there, Brian!”

Cruz vowed to “use all tools and powers at [his] disposal” to delay or block any candidate Biden puts forth.

“He could nominate card-carrying Republican who voted for Donald Trump two times, and I’d still block her if she was black. Not because I’m racist, or need to get elected by racists. But, because, you know…Reasons.”

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