Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Jesus Warns His Trans Little Children to ‘Stay the Fuck Away’ From the Bible Belt

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Larry...

Rep Greene Threatens to Impeach Biden for Not Loaning Secret Space Laser to Ukraine

Freshman Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) is no stranger to drafting...

Data Shows DeSantis Thinks About Gay Sex More Than Two Dudes Banging

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- Florida's controversial new "Don't Say Gay" bill is...

What Impact Has Biden’s Inflation Had on Covfefe Imports?

https://youtu.be/deUU6n4viWQ Throughout most of 2020, as the U.S. government was sending stimulus...

Biden’s Told Aides He Wishes Presidents Weren’t Constitutionally Required to Set Gas Prices

In recent days, sources close to the situation have reported that...

Greenwald Will Denounce Ukraine Invasion Just as Soon as Putin Says He Can

For several weeks, as U.S. intelligence agencies tried to warn the...

Since the West Started Sanctioning Russia, Don Jr Hasn’t Been Able to Buy Nearly as Much Coke

As Vladimir Putin's illegal, violent siege of Ukraine continues, the U.S....

Dems Offer to Exchange Jackson’s LSATs for Kavanaugh’s BAC the Night He Assaulted Blasey Ford

When President Joe Biden nominated Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson to replace...

DeSantis Politely Asked Neo-Nazi to Step Aside So He Could Scold Students Wearing Masks

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- Yesterday, Sunshine State Governor and 2021's Donald Trump...