Totally Bulls*it News

Can I File an Extension If I’m Not Ready to Control My Wife By January 20th?

I don't really want to go to jail because I couldn't figure out how to wrangle my wife's genitals into their holding pen before...

Kavanaugh Tells Jackson All Supreme Court Justice Have to Pass a Breathalyzer Before Hearings

This morning, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh emailed Judge Ketanji Brown...

Amy Coney Barrett Says She’ll Welcome Jackson to Supreme Court If Mr. Barrett Says She Can

If Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson is confirmed by the U.S. Senate...

Graham: GOP Will Not Treat Jackson Like a Drunken Rapist Like Dems Treated a Drunken Rapist

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the Senate confirmation process for Judge...

Man Starting to Regret His Vote for Hunter Biden’s Laptop

In November of 2020, 45 year old carpenter Johnathan Jackson cast...

Twitter Says Babylon Bee Can Have Its Account Back When It Switches from Hate Speech to Satire

Alleged comedic website The Babylon Bee had access to its Twitter account temporarily...

Florida Nun Unsure If She’ll Be Arrested After Teaching Students About the Immaculate Conception

"It's tough for me to know, legally speaking, if discussing statutory...

Petition to Send MTG to Ukraine So She Can Help Putin Reaches 4 Billion Signatures

Freshman Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene recently appeared on Facebook Live to...

Senator Accidentally Inserts Hot Stock Tip Into Text of Daylight Savings Bill

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A hot stock tip was accidentally inserted into...

Op-Ed: We Need to Leave Our Confederate Statues in Place, But Never Talk About Why They Exist

The following editorial was written and submitted by Floriduh Governor Ron...

In Potential Fight Between Putin and Musk, Most Rooting for Simultaneous Spontaneous Combustion

This week, billionaire and terminally online Twitter troll Elon Musk challenged...